UnBlairable

SCP-XXXX (Anomolous Flatulance)

Object Class - Euclid (Keter, Keter, Inhuman, Instant Level Omega Offence)
No further updates to SCP-XXXX class will be processed unless cleared by assigned senior researcher

Containment Procedures

The current priority is tracking down and isolating the current instance of SCP XXXX.

The current carrier of SCP-XXXX is unknown. Investigation continues to isolate events involving this SCP and affected personnel. Efforts are focused on isolating the most recent incidents, their timelines and symptoms.

ANY encounter with abnormally intense flatulence ('fart') eliciting an extreme response must be reported to site security immediately who will initiate Procedure 'Sphinkter'. This will remain until 'all clear' is issued by Dr Sulfer.

SCP-XXXX is believed isolated within one of three active SCP facilities.

Any and all SCP agents who believe to have encountered SCP-XXXX are to submit their report to be added.

Description

SCP-XXXX remains dormant between 2 and 52 hours. When it manifests, the carrier unleashes an incredibly uncomfortable 'fart' of anomalous strength and intensity. Any sentient life will react in an exaggerated manner to the odour once detected. In some cases the odour passes through walls and barriers containing Keter class threats. It is currently believed the individual who reacts in the most extreme fashion, becomes the new carrier.

Other SCP's, even non sentient, have shown reaction to such event horizons with mixed results. It is recommended that any change in behaviour during a Protocol Sphinkter event is recorded and a copy sent to Dr Sulfer.

It is believed SCP-XXXX was introduced into the D Class population after standard recruitment (See incident list)

By Order of O5 Council
All staff are to report ANY suspected SCP-XXXX events, even if they are not involved with the three sites affected, although this appears to be a minor inconvenience at the moment, fatalities are possible. Especially if entities like SCP-682 are affected. Again.

Incident List

XX September 2000

Guards reported morale among D class at site XX had greatly increased with a 'Deadpool' running over 2 months. This ended when a guard terminated one of them shouting "You fxxking stinky bxxtard!!", emptying his service weapon.

XX September 2000

The Guard was summoned to provide explanation for the unauthorised termination. During an incoherent rant over 'Chemical warfare' SCP XXXX manifested, The guard was immediately incapacitated and sent to the morgue, relocated to medical isolation 10 minutes later.

Dates (Yet to be assigned)

SCP XXXX manifested in a Level 3 staff break room, resulting in the area being evacuated and locked down. The food being consumed at the time was assigned SCP-XXXY, later withdrawn when no anomalous properties were found. All snack machines in the room were subsequently incinerated and the ashes dissolved in acid.

During a tour of site XXX by O5 member ?, SCP XXXX manifested. The entire site was locked down immediately with O5 security having to keep 4 personnel from activating the on site nuke.
By order of O5 ?, all personnel in the room at the time will be 'roasted' by the Ethics Committee as soon as practical.
At the same time, SCP-076 (Able) had started a containment breach, suddenly retreated, slamming the lid shut.

-Request by SCP-076 site staff to use SCP XXXX as containment. DECLINED by O5 ?, and any further requests will be met with repremands at least-

An emergency hearing of the Ethics committee initiated by order of O5? failed to isolate the source of the problem described. A medical examination was being arranged when SCP XXXX manifested. 3 attendees needed hospitalisation due to a stampede at the rooms only exit. Charges of 'Extreme crimes against humanity' are pending upon medical confirmation of the culprit. Leave was granted to all but 2 of the present committee members.

Site 13 (Keter site?) hosted an audit by a member of the Ethics committee, explained as "A breath of fresh air." During an examination of SCP-682 facilities, SCP-XXXX manifested. 4 security and 2 research staff broke into SCP-682's cell, begging to be consumed. After ripping them apart, SCP-682 locked gaze with the stunned committee member and screamed "You monster." Despite the open door, SCP-682 did not attempt escape.

35 hours later, SCP-682 showed discomfort. This seemed to increase over the next 5 hours, SCP-682 ignored all attempts of communication. Over the next few hours SCP-682 demonstrated agony until SCP-XXXX manifested. The walls of the containment chamber turned deep brown with a miasma filling the area. All personnel within 30 meters of SCP-682 experienced an immediate gastric effect, some needing hospitalisation for rehydration. The section was immediately locked down, pending Hazmat response. SCP-682 was laughing for 3 days.

During site 13's lockdown, all staff were medically examined for ongoing gastric disturbance. A cleared D Class was assigned to clean SCP-035 containment cell as the contaminant level was excessive. During the cleaning, the substance had completely surrounded the D class and closing in. The ring suddenly receded to the walls of the cell. Nearby staff reported hearing a scream in their head. The D class was apprehended and isolated as SCP-XXXX pre-manifestation.

Dr (the one in charge of SCP-035) called an all clear, stating SCP-035 was aware of SCP-XXXX and having fun at their expense.

SCP-035's awareness of SCP-XXXX facilitated an interview attempt while cleaning was being undertaken. 10 minutes into the interview SCP-035 started to sing "Let it go" from Disneys Frozen.

20 hours after SCP-682 manifested SCP-XXXX, Dr Sulfer deduced that one of the maintenance staff was the current carrier. The maintenance section was isolated with camera showing that the person was working alone. Mobile Task Force (Bio Hazard group) was dispatched to contain him. SCP-XXXX manifested as they entered the room. MTF (Member) reported no reaction from any of his team, and containment proceeded. Site 13 lockdown was extended when MTF (Member) reported SCP-XXXX manifested in front of the sites Air conditioning intake.

SCP-035 was laughing hysterically.

Dr Bright's current host was found unconscious in his office. SCP 963 was found inside 3 vacuum seal bags, sealed within a lead lined box, with his office safe open near by. It seems planned to seal the medalion within but lost consciousness when the lead lined box was closed.

At the same time, Dr Clef was prowling the halls with his shotgun and rod tipped with a large cork, he claimed to be hunting a reality bender before it rendered oxygen meaningless. Despite the absurdity necessity of the claim, no one was willing to disagree with him.

Multiple attempts were made to change the object class to 'Keter'

Site-XXXX was locked down claiming an outbreak of SCP-008, when relevant task force was sent in, no fatalities or illness were found, staff insisted SCP-008 would be a blessing in comparrison.

Ethics committee members received fan mail from SCP-027, begging to meet them.

SCP-049 requested to examine a potential carrier of SCP-XXXX, claiming nothing could survive that.

SCP-050 was found in the private lavitory of Dr ?? after a breach of SCP-XXXX

A sympathy card was received from Marshal, Carter and Dark Ltd

additional events from other writers are encouraged to be added