Varuker

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be kept within a 279 sq m panorama depicting a mid-western suburban neighborhood. If a power outage occurs, a back-up generator will continue to power SCP-XXXX. In the unlikely case of a simultaneous failure of both power sources, the entity should be hosed with a military grade liquid adhesive.

When visting SCP-XXXX, any food or beverage offered by SCP-XXXX-1 are to be politely declined.
SCP-XXXX-1 has demonstrated passive aggressive behavior following the rejection of foodstuffs. The entity will make disingenuous remarks about the appearance, chosen lifestyle, religious views, or family of the guest consistently. If confronted, visitors should repress violent urges. Personnel tasked with interviewing instances of SCP-XXXX-1 are recommended to enroll in a anger management class prior.

Description: SCP-XXXX appears to be a 167 sq m craftsman home with a wood panel and brick exterior. SCP-XXXX was discovered by the Cabool, MO ██████ █████████ in October 1983. The local power plant reported a sharp increase in power usage that month,