Doctor Malwarren's Suggestion

Doctor Malwarren rubbed his dark-ringed eyes and then clasped his hands together under his chin, groaning and letting his head tilt towards the paper in front of him.

“Who the F*@k thought that this would be a good idea?” He said.

“O5 and the Administrator.” The Assistant’s phone on his desk replied.

“Not the program, the whole part where we let some idiot waltz in and rearrange key parts of the coding without supervision. Nay, even the whole part where we somehow left the core processing for the program be unguarded by relevant personnel for even a microsecond. It’s not even in a site where anomalous entities, humanoid or otherwise should be anywhere near, let alone inside of.”

“Dr Malwarren, I’m not here to discuss how this happened, I’m here to discuss how we do our job.”

“I know, I know. Ugh. At least it wasn’t actually at Site 1… that would have gone disastrously.”

“It wouldn’t have been allowed to happen at Site 1.”

“It shouldn’t have been allowed to happen at the Site it was in either.”

“The program development was too close to anomalous data, it wasn’t going to be allowed at Site 1 due to potential Memetic Hazard leaks.”

“Of course, can’t let O5 or the Administrator get hurt by anything like that. But still, did we leave it in a f*@king school computer lab? Because this is a massive screw up.”

“It’s not as bad as you might think.”

“Really, ‘cause from where I’m sitting all of our data…. And I mean all of it has been released for public scrutiny, for all eyes to see… Just think of how many people will be at risk now.”

“Well, yes, but…”

“And, we can’t even shut it down, because it’s tied into our systems for scrambling information and security against most memetics. Not to mention that it actually runs our information processing and handling departments… the only thing we have close to it is SCP-076.”

“Indeed, it has been quite useful these past years."

“Wait… but, of course that’s it. It’s not just linked to our system. It is our system for scrambling information.”


“S.A.R.R.A.H. Collection Protocol, is both an archivist of all of our files and a means to create false information that can be used to defend against any potential leaks or break-ins to Foundation records. It’s still performing those duties too.”

“So what you’re saying is?”

“It’s releasing all our files, but it’s making just as many… actually twice as many false files. But it’s releasing them all in the same way… so anyone watching them, doesn’t know the difference.”

“That is what our data indicates, what are you suggesting we do about it?”

“Huh, I suppose it’ll be rather simple to sort this out then… keep a team monitoring the feeds, try and flag down any true files… also take down some of the false ones to keep misinformation spreading and if anyone watching it’s work seems to be acting odd, administer the amnestics. Class A or B should suffice… provided we get to them soon enough.”

“And your suggestion for the Site itself?”

“Well it’s completely inaccessible to us at this time… being displaced in both time and space. How it’s still connecting to everything is beyond my area of expertise. My suggestion, have a team near where it should be, ready to respond if it comes back into place… and if it does… lock it down. Run it through the paces for anomalous areas and then try to work out what the actual f*@k happened here.”

“Ok. Thank you for that, your time has been appreciated Dr Malwarren. The proposal shall be put to the O5 on your behalf.”

“One more thing?”

“Yes, doctor?”

“If we don’t come back… will you at least send a farewell letter to my wife?”

“Oh Dr Malwarren, the procedures for such things are already in place, but for now, just do your best to keep S.A.R.R.A.H under control alright?”

“Yeah, I’ll try to… I’m sorry this happened.”

“I’m sure you are.”

“So… is that all for now?”

“Yes. We will call in another half hour to reconnect.”

“Ok… I guess I’ll just…”

The phone line went dead, and all Dr Malwarren could do was sit and wait…

At least SARRAH had locked his doors so the things couldn’t get inside.