VX100

The following tape was recovered during a raid on an MC&D warehouse by the Foundation.

Have you ever tried learning the violin? Then you just how unbelievably frustrating it is to get it down, both for you AND your unfortunate teacher, who has to spend half an hour listening to you pathetically squeak your bow across the string. Well, with the new VX100 developed and sold by Marshall, Carter, and Dark LLC, you will no longer have to waste thousands of dollars to spend decades learning the violin. Now, you can spend millions of dollars, to learn it right away! All you have to do, is pick up the VX100, play any scale, and the VX100 will develop a telepathic communication to your mind and instantly teach you the violin!
Call 951-572-2602 to speak to our salesmen! Order now for only $90,000,000 and receive a free self sweeping broom! One third of all profits go straight to the Sean Charity for Pneumonia (SCP) Foundation!
Disclaimer: MC&D is not responsible for death, dismemberment, possession, physical trauma, emotional trauma, nightmares, night terrors, hallucinations, insomnia, cancer, Alzheimer’s, decapitation, sleep paralysis, suicidal thoughts, hell portals, or brain liquefying as a result of any MC&D products.

Addendum: How the hell did they get our phone number?