The Pentagram Owns Arby's
rating: 0+x


WARNING: THE FOLLOWING FILE IS LEVEL #/XXXX CLASSIFIED


ANY ATTEMPT TO ACCESS THIS FILE WITHOUT LEVEL 4/XXXX AUTHORIZATION WILL BE LOGGED AND WILL LEAD TO IMMEDIATE DISCIPLINARY ACTION.

Item#: xxxx
Level4
Containment Class:
euclid
Secondary Class:
none
Disruption Class:
ekhi
Risk Class:
warning

arby_local.jpg

An instance of SCP-XXXX is located in Houston, Texas.

Special Containment Procedures:

Description: SCP-XXXX is the designation given to all the 3,300 locals of the fast food restaurant chain Arby's located in the United States. While SCP-XXXX instances are not anomalous, constant monitoring is necessary for the identification of any unusual movements that are not connected to the American Paranatural Warfare Command1. SCP-XXXX is the front-up company owned by the Pentagram that functions as both the money-laundering building under the guise of a fast-food branch and the base of operations for experimental mind control chemicals — hereby referred to as SCP-XXXX-1.

arby_meat_mountain.jpg

SCP-XXXX-1 sold as an Arby's Meat Mountain meal.

SCP-XXXX-1 are the products sold inside the SCP-XXXX establishments which include all the beverages, food, and any other consumable products sold inside individual SCP-XXXX establishments. These products may vary but the anomalous effects of SCP-XXXX-1 have so far been demonstrated the same. When an individual consumes SCP-XXXX-1, the individual experiences a sudden but subtle feeling of euphoria, leading to an increased feeling of pride, subservience, and nationalism in the United States and the actions undertaken by the United States government.

[Include heavy sci-fi description of how the mind control chemicals worked with Arby's products.]

Addendum XXXX.1: Discovery

SCP-XXXX was discovered after the nomination of Pharrell Williams at the Grammy Awards of 2014 in which Mr. Williams wore a Buffalo Hat which resembled that of the Arby's logo — Foundation memetic recognition patterns spotted a memetic agent coming from Mr. Williams' Buffalo Hat. This event, combined with the publication of a tweet by the official Arby's account caused a sudden and massive client revenue and increase in sales, which caught the attention of the Foundation and temporarily classified Mr. Williams' Buffalo Hat as SCP-XXXX2.

Following the end of the Grammy Awards, Pharrell Williams was detained by a Foundation agent near the scene and ordered to recover what was then classified as SCP-XXXX and interrogate Mr. Williams about any information regarding SCP-XXXX and its connection with Arby's. See the attached interrogation log below.

INTERVIEW LOG XXXX.001

Interviewed: Pharrell Williams

Interviewee: Agent Oliver Lee

Foreword: The interrogation was planned after an agreement between Pharrell Williams' agent and the undercover Foundation Delegate at the Grammy's. The interview was recorded in Mr. Williams' place of residency after the Awards concluded.


<Begin Log>

The audio recording starts, a chair is sound creaking in the back of the audio as Agent Lee sits down.

Agent Lee: I apologize for organizing this last-minute arrangement with you, Mr. Williams.

Mr. Williams: It's alright, Officer…

Agent Lee: Liam. Officer Liam at your service, Mr. Williams.

Mr. Williams: Okay. So, what is it, Officer?

Agent Lee: You see, I was contacted at the last moment while I was on my break — sadly, I was the only agent near the area where the Grammy's were held, so I was chosen to interview you. The point is, sir, that my bosses have a few questions regarding your Buffalo Hat.

Mr. Williams: …Exactly what's wrong with the hat that's a big reason to detain me, Officer?

Agent Lee: I'm not detaining you, Mr. Williams, this is a simple procedure that must be followed to set things straight.

Mr. Williams: Officer, the hat is just a market campaign and that's all. If you're so worried about the hat, why don't you go and look into it yourself?

Agent Lee: Suit yourself.

A ringtone is heard in the middle of the interview, Agent Lee picks it up.

Agent Lee: Ah, it arrived — give me a minute, Mr. Williams, but my dinner just arrived. Can you hold on for a bit?

Mr. Williams: D-Did you just order food while I was detained?

Agent Lee: No, before I started — I told you I was on break and on my way to eat dinner. I'll share with you some of it if you're hungry too.

Mr. Williams whispers.

Mr. Williams: Unbelievable.

Agent Lee stands up and leaves the room for approximately two minutes. During that time, a knocking is heard in the background followed by a door opening up and some brief conversation between Agent Lee and the delivery guy. The door is closed and footsteps are heard on the stairs — Agent Lee comes back to the room, nickles tickling in his pocket.

Agent Lee sits back down, huffing. Agent Lee apologizes to Mr. Williams, and begins wrapping up the package — pulling out his food.

Mr. Williams: …Arby's3? Is this some sick joke to you, Officer?!

Agent Lee pulls out a Coca-Cola cup, a Roast Beef and Cheddar Sandwich, and a pack of Curly Fries. He cleans his hands with a napkin and unwraps the sandwich's wrapping.

Agent Lee: No, but I couldn't think of anything else once my supervisor told me the hat had something to do with Arby's, and couldn't think of anything else to buy for dinner.

Agent Lee offers a piece of Curly Fries to Mr. Williams.

Agent Lee: Take one.

Mr. Williams gazes at Agent Lee.

Agent Lee: I'm not eating Arby's.

Agent Lee shrugs and takes a bite of the sandwich, grabbing the soda and sipping it — Agent Lee begins to have hiccups.

Agent Lee: Returning to the hat, you say that it was just a marketing campaign, correct?

Mr. Williams: Yeah, and that's it.

Agent Lee: So you didn't have a say if you wanted to wear it or not?

Mr. Williams: Nope, it was all directed by my agent — if you want to know more about the hat, ask him.

Agent Lee nods and begins to relax. He starts to pat around his uniform until he finds a pen and writes it down on one of the napkins as he continues to eat the sandwich. Agent Lee hiccups again.

Agent Lee: So, the name of your agent was, uh…

Mr. Williams: [REDACTED]4.

Agent Lee writing begins to scribble on the napkin, looking outside the window at the waving American flag in Lee's yard. Williams glances at Agent Lee.

Mr. Williams: Officer, are you okay?

Agent Lee: …Isn't she beautiful?

Mr. Williams: What?

Agent Lee stands up and walks to the window, pointing at the flag.

Agent Lee: Her. America, Mr. Williams.

Mr. Williams: I—uh, w-what?

Agent Lee: You're the ideal American, Mr. Williams. If every single man, woman, and child in this country waved the flag in their yards, this country would be in a far greater shape.

Mr. Williams gazes at the Arby's meal above the table, then looks back at Agent Lee gazing at the flag — he slowly stands up.

Mr. Williams: Of course, Officer. Excuse me, do you mind if I go to the bathroom quickly before we continue?

Agent Lee nods, waving his hand to authorize Mr. Williams to go. Mr. Williams leaves the room, and enters the bathroom, locking the door. Agent Lee continues to look perplexed at the flag, while Mr. Williams calls his agent — Williams whispers, but Foundation analysts concluded that Williams talked to his agent to get rid of Agent Lee.

Agent Lee touches the window with his fingertips while Williams speaks with his agent — Agent Lee begins to mumble "The Star-Spangled Banner".

<End Log>

After Mr. Williams contacted his agent, Foundation agents came to Mr. Williams' residency and retrieved Agent Lee from the scene. Mr. Williams Buffalo Hat was retrieved, as well as the remains of Agent Lee's Arby's meal to study its now discovered anomalous properties — Mr. Williams was given short-term amnestics to forget his interrogation with Agent Lee and given standard memory replacement. Mr. Williams's agent was informed of the situation, and although initially hesitant, gave the Foundation classified information about the Buffalo Hat as a "marketing campaign to jumpstart Arby's sales" — when asked the reason behind this action, Mr. Williams's agent said that he did not know the reason for it. Mr. Williams's agent was allowed to let go without amnestics treatment but was classified as a targeted individual by the Foundation until the events of SCP-XXXX were resolved.

Addendum XXXX.2: Study of SCP-XXXX-1