Waxwing1

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: All secured instances of SCP-XXXX are to be held in a containment locker suitable for the storage of safe anomalous objects. An exclusion radius of 70cm is to be maintained, specifically with regard to other written materials and known possible ideoconductors. Efforts are to focus on the acquisition of unsecured instances, along with the identification of the anomaly’s source or manufacturer.

Affected written materials are to be held in containment lockers suitable for the storage of safe anomalous objects.

The anomalous properties of instances may be neutralised via the liberal application of pesticide/fungicide CO-147-I, or incineration. Given the ease of containment, this strategy is not deemed necessary at this time.

Description: SCP-XXXX is the collective designation for instances of a glossy, trifold pamphlet advertising an organisation which call themselves ‘The Extratextual Travel Agency’.

The front fold bears a colour photograph of a large library atrium, along with the words ‘The Extratextual Travel Agency. What’s your E.T.A? Call today. Hey.’ No contact details are included.

Any relatively wealthy characters present in the narrative of any works of literature within approximately 65cm of an instance of SCP-XXXX prove able to migrate to the narrative of an adjacent work.

The interior fold of the pamphlet claims that travel is via traditional or luxury carriages drawn by book mites, word weevils, or packs of erroneous apostrophes. The agency advertise that they are happy to complete copyright clearance forms on the behalf of their customers, and will act as an intermediary between customers and intertextual border control. Furthermore the pamphlet’s reverse advertises a currency conversion service with extremely competitive exchange rates, boasting that they handle currencies ranging from silver stags to oxygen credits, from cursed doubloons to trilithium crystals.

Examples of affected works include:

•Animal Farm, by George Orwell.
The character Peppa Pig from the children’s book series of the same name joins the farm, and proceeds to teach Napoleon Pig a valuable lesson regarding the redemptive power of friendship and the value of social equality.

•Under Milkwood, by Dylan Thomas.
The character Captain Ahab from the adjacent novel Moby Dick appears in a short scene near the beginning of the narrative. Captain Ahab appears to be enraged and refuses to listen as a Welsh villager patiently attempts to explain silent ‘h’s.

•The Colour of Magic, by Terry Pratchett.
The character Harry Potter from the popular book series of the same name enrols on a course of further education at the unseen university, and gains an array of amusingly shaped scars courtesy of Rincewind’s ineptitude. Harry decides to retire from wizardry and gets a job stacking shelves in Ankh-Morpork, alongside Gandalf and the wicked witch of the west.

•Pride And Prejudice, by Jane Austin.
In a pivotal scene part-way through the novel, Miss Bennett takes afternoon tea with comic book hero Judge Dread. They retire to the orangery for crumpets, where Miss Bennett shyly requests a ride on his motorcycle. Mr Darcy struggles to compete with the gruff and muscular stranger, ultimately proving unsuccessful and deciding he wasn’t that into Miss Bennett anyway.

•A Song Of Ice And Fire series, by George R.R. Martin.
Mr Darcy appears in scenes at regular intervals throughout the narrative of the series. The character makes awkward and ultimately ineffectual advances toward almost every adult female character featured in the series. Mr Darcy is eaten by a dragon in the epilogue of A Dream Of Spring.

•The Complete Memoirs of Jay Gatsby, by Siegfried Sassoon. (Formerly The Complete Memoirs of George Sherston)
The character of George Sherston is replaced by that of Jay Gatsby, the protagonist of The Great Gatsby. Disillusioned with his privileged position and the affluent lifestyle his status demands, the veteran major returns to the battlefield. The final journal entry, addressed to Daisy, suggests that Gatsby is about to undertake an assault which he doubts he will survive. Gatsby expresses that he has made peace with himself, and that he feels that, if he were to die, his life would’ve had meaning. An additional note bequeaths his considerable personal wealth to the war effort.

Update: In addition to the above, the following affected works have been identified:

•Disneyland Florida Holiday Brochure.
The cast of Disney characters is supplemented by many of the former denizens of hell who appear to have migrated from an adjacent copy of Dante’s Inferno.

•The King James Bible, various authors.
Each apostle in turn references the bothersome attentions of a certain scholar who tends to follow them around taking notes, asking repetitive questions, and generally getting in the way. The individual is named as Professor Robert Langdon, protagonist of The DaVinci Code.

•Why The Allies Lost, by Richard Overy (originally titled Why The Allies Won).
The book narrates a fictionalised account of how the Nazi forces were able to thwart the Allied D-Day operations of World War II via extraordinary logistic feats. Vast numbers of Nazi infantrymen appear to have been transported from the adjacent book The Rise And Fall Of The Third Reich directly into a passage describing the geographic features of Normandy’s beaches.

•The Rise And Fall Of The Third Reich, by William L. Shirer.
A work of micro-fiction in which Adolph Hitler is born and immediately executed by an Allied commando posing as a maternity nurse. The commando appears to originate from the adjacent work Why The Allies Won (previously titled Why The Allies Lost, originally titled Why The Allies Won).

•The John Lennon Story, by John Swenson.
The fictionalised biography describes an anecdote that John would often tell his closest friends, regarding an occasion when, whilst tripping on L.S.D in his bedroom shortly after the release of Rubber Soul, he was visited by an aged incarnation of his band mate George Harrison. As John would tell it, the elderly apparition of George warned him of a murder attempt which would be made on him by a deranged fan, and the information helped him avoid the location of his premature demise. The apparition appears to be an instance of George Harrison who has travelled from the final chapter of the book to a chapter near the start in order to issue John a warning. The book lists the numerous humanitarian causes championed by John, especially in his later life, and includes a transcript of an interview he gave to the BBC concerning his Nobel Peace Prize.

300 600 1200 2400, by Frank Miller.
The Spartan forces from 8 adjacent copies of the graphic novel 300 appear to consolidate in a single copy, and, with their combined strength, achieve a decisive victory at the battle of Thermopylae.

300 0 834, by Frank Miller.
The Spartan survivors of the above instance of the battle of Thermopylae move on to a second copy of the book, fighting the battle once more and achieving a Pyrrhic victory.

[Please update this document to include any further instances of affected works directly above this bullet point]

[tag as open collaboration]

Update: Following a prolonged period of exposure to other works, instances of SCP-XXXX often demonstrate a marked shift in effect, causing the narratives of works within their area of effect to be completely stripped of assets via the introduction of a combined mercenary force. This army has been observed to include The Golden Company from A Song Of Fire And Ice; numerous simultaneously existent iterations of Boba Fett and Jango Fett, as portrayed in various Star Wars novel and comic book adaptations; a grossly overpowered iteration of Big Boss’s Diamond Dogs taken from a Metal Gear Solid video game fan-fiction draft; and all regiments present in the first edition of the Warhammer Dogs Of War Army Book by Games Workshop.

It is not known what would occur if an instance were to be allowed to progress further; all known instances have been contained upon, or prior to, this stage of development.