Per 
- Get rid of the 4000 bs you git!
- Something I actually want to work on
- Another Day Another Dollar
- Fridge Logic
bitchk
Item #: 4000 (placeholder)
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4000 is currently located in Site-18's Temporary Containment Facility, Safe Class Holding Shelf 7-I, Temporary Containment Lead-Lined Vessel S-4000.
Description: SCP-4000 is a pair of sunglasses visually similar to Ray-Ban Wayfarer sunglasses, though no identifying marks or inscriptions are present on the glasses beyond the number "23454" printed in white on the inside of the right temple.
Individuals wearing SCP-4000 will perceive advertisements, product labels, and most forms of printed text absent entirely, instead replaced with large bold messages and statements, almost always a few words in length, placed against a dark purple background. Electronic text is similarly affected. The produced text is nonsensical and meaningless though many instances form coherent statements in conjunction with one another, implying the text is a deliberate creation. Whether the text produced by SCP-4000 exists in objective reality or is simply an induced hallucination is unknown.
The following list catalogs several instances of text produced by SCP-4000. For a full list of all known text produced by SCP-4000, see Document C7-4000.
| Original Text | Text Produced by SCP-4000 |
|---|---|
| A magazine with the headline "Recent Developments in Alzheimer's Treatment" | VACCINES CURE AUTISM |
| A billboard advertising a recently released cell phone. | BITCH SEX FRISBEE, GUACAMOLE PENIS, PICKING UP A ROCKET, FINNA HEAD UP TO VENUS |
| Page one of a mainstream young adult novel. | I'M TIRED OF THESE HOES IN MY BREAKFAST. MOTORCYCLE. |
| Page two of a mainstream young adult novel. | MEANT TO TYPE MOTHERFUCKER IN THAT LAST PAGE BUT I THOUGHT IT FLOWED BETTER |
| An online advertisement for birth control. | THE FUCKIN CONDOM BROKE, NOW MY HANDS ARE COVERED IN COCK-COLA |
| The product label for peanut butter. | PENIS BUTTER |
| A safety sign in Site-18 describing dangerous entities beyond its location. | OH? ON GOD? |
| Numerous posters asking for information regarding a missing dog. | CAN'T HAVE SHIT IN DETROIT |
In addition to the above text, approximately 1 out of every 1,000 instances of SCP-4000 affected text will produce the following passage:
ERROR
SUBLIMINAL POSTER PRINTER UNIT C-587 IS ALMOST OUT OF INK
PLEASE CONTACT MAINTENANCE CREW 198 AT LINE-19 IMMEDIATELY
IF THIS LINE IS UNAVAILABLE, PLEASE CONTACT THE OFFICE OF PHYSICAL AND TRANSCENDENT RESOURCE SUPERVISION AT LINE-2341
IF THIS LINE IS UNAVAILABLE, PLEASE CONTACT THE DEPARTMENT OF SUBLIMINAL INFO DISTRIBUTION AT LINE-124326
IF THIS LINE IS UNAVAILABLE, PLEASE CONTACT THE ADMINISTRATION OF KNOWLEDGE MANAGEMENT AT LINE-15382843
IF FURTHER ACTION IS NEEDED, CONSULT THE DIRECTORY OF ALL META-PROPAGANDA RELATED DIVISIONS AT LINE-195813456237489
PLEASE AMEND THIS SITUATION AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. YOU ARE A VALUED EMPLOYEE AND THE BUREAU DOES NOT WISH TO TERMINATE YOUR CONTRACT AND/OR YOUR LIFE
DO NOT PLACE THIS PAGE IN CIRCULATION
ERROR
Updated Description (██/██/17): While the text produced by SCP-4000 appears to be entirely nonsensical, older texts produced in 1988 or before yield comprehensible messages which appear to be subtle attempts at manipulating any observers of the affected text. Whether the text can actually influence certain behaviors in humans is completely unknown. Research regarding the origin of SCP-4000 and any affiliated anomalous phenomena has been allocated Beta-S Priority.
The following list catalogs several instances of text produced by SCP-4000 that was created before 1988.
| Original Text | Text Produced by SCP-4000 |
|---|---|
| A poster promoting an upcoming blockbuster movie. | CONSUME |
| A book detailing the potential health benefits of a mostly vegetarian diet. | STAY HEALTHY AND REPRODUCE |
| A flyer outlining the political promises of a presidential candidate. | OBEY |
| A memo from Site-18's management, circa 1956. | YOU ARE THE WARDENS OF PRISONERS YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND. AND NOTHING MORE. HAVE A GREAT DAY! |
Addendum 4000.1: This addendum constitutes the apparent second time the Foundation has archived SCP-4000's anomalous effects. While the information in the above article appears to correct, none of the individuals associated with the article's creation are employed within the Foundation and do not appear to have ever existed. SCP-4000 itself is not referenced in any other documentation despite being present in Site-18's Temporary Containment Facility. Research regarding the origin of SCP-4000's presence in Site-18 and the above article's origin will take priority over further researching SCP-4000's anomalous effects for the time being.
Addendum 4000.2: This addendum constitutes the apparent third time the Foundation has attempted to archive SCP-4000's anomalous effects. As the previous addendum describes, the article's authors do not exist and SCP-4000's presence in Site-18 is not documented. However, the author of the previous addendum is not employed by the Foundation and no evidence suggests the author ever existed. These factors imply either this article and the attached addendum are anomalous themselves or SCP-4000 has self-censoring properties. Thus, any attempts to archive SCP-4000's effects will result in the author's erasure from reality as well as the removal of any memories or documentation of the author with the sole exception of this article.
Should the latter of the two possibilities be the true mechanism responsible for the anomalies outlined in the above addendum, SCP-4000 poses an immense threat to containment efforts, albeit only towards Foundation personnel.
Research is to be focused entirely on determining whether SCP-4000 truly has self-censoring properties and procedures to mitigate these properties.
Addendum 4000.3: Alright, enough with the documentation. Yes, none of the people associated with this article exist, even the guy who wrote the last addendum. I think he was on to something about SCP-4000's self-censoring properties. Whatever these glasses are, they're erasing anyone who tries to document them from reality.
Please, for the love of God, if you're the poor researcher who got assigned to those weird glasses in Site-18, stop reading and alert high command about SCP-4000. I've already submitted my revision to the main documentation server and SCP-4000 will hopefully be reclassified as keter but I have no idea if any of higher ups will even notice before I'm erased.
I'm guessing my time before I'm erased is limited, so I'll try to document my thoughts before I get ripped from reality. I've already alerted security and my coworkers about my predicament but they probably can't do anything to help me. Considering this article still exists even though the people who wrote it don't, I think the best course of action was to write on this article directly. I don't get why this piece of documentation in particular survives the reality erasures when literally everything else doesn't. Hell, maybe the guy that wrote the second addendum was right, the article itself is the anomaly. Regardless, I don't have time to take any chances. What I don't understand is the connection between the glasses' properties and the censorship of any info about them. From what I can tell, the glasses simply reveal "meta-propaganda" that was already there. So who's behind it all? What organization is responsible for all of this? Who could possibly be so powerful and well organized that even the Foundation is ignorant of their existence? And why the fuck are they so goddamn stupid?
Oh God oh Fuck
…Reality Abrogation complete. Thank you for working with the Suprasus Bureau. Have a nice day!
Item #: 4000
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4000 is to be stored in Area-14's Non-Biological Materials Safe-Class wing.
Description: SCP-4000 is a non-functional refrigerator of unknown make and model with slight external wear. Any object(s) placed into SCP-4000 will be heated to roughly 1.001 times their original temperature following their introduction to SCP-4000, or after 47 minutes within SCP-4000.
Following SCP-4000's use in operation SOLCRACKER, SCP-4000 was observed to possess possible additional anomalous properties, though SCP-4000's current location in the 40 billion mile wide supermassive black hole that formed following operation SOLCRACKER makes further investigation difficult.
