No Such Thing

Item #: SCP XXXX

Object Class: Euclid Keter Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is a specific cell that must be maintained in the Beta-Aggressors wing at Area 14. The cell must be 3mX3mX3m in dimension with corner-abridging walls, such that the room has eight walls; 4 wide, and 4 narrow. This shape most easily accommodates the four view portals needed, placed as such in the narrow wall panels, each to have an unobstructed view of 100% of the volume inside. For establishing simplest line-of-site during feeding cycles, the two humans directly observing the cell should sit in observation booths on opposing corners of the room. These booths should be designed to open to the room and forcefully deposit the occupant into it. These booths must be undetectable from within the containment cell, and so their viewing windows must be camouflaged as well as thermally insulated by multiple layers of vacuum between shielded window panes for the highest possible R value. In addition to the direct observation booths, there are to be at least two observation windows placed in the remaining two narrow wall panels, and designed to allow Complete Electrosonic Camera Arrays (CECA) to transmit and record the entirety of the containment cell's volume. Lighting shall be recessed in the floor and ceiling, and thermally shielded. For the purpose of creating "active" subjects, there will be a separate small observation room above the cell behind a similarly camouflaged window with clear line of sight into the cell. In case of a containment breach, this floor, too, will act as a concealed trapped door to deposit effected subjects into the room.

The floor, ceiling, and four larger walls of the cell must each be capable, independent of the other surfaces, of dropping in temperature to -50° C or less and rising in temperature to at least 150° C, and these temperature changes must be capable of happening within 60 45 30 20 seconds. Once an hour, at least two of these surfaces (the number chosen randomly, 2 through 6) must change temperature by at least 45° C (also chosen randomly) from their starting temperatures. At no point outside of feeding cycles can the surfaces be permitted to rest at temperatures within 10° 20° C of each other.

This cell must be actively and directly observed by at least two human individuals who are authentically convinced the cell is occupied despite the obvious evidence to the contrary. The observers must have no contact or ability to contact outside personnel save a single Morse Code terminal connected to the supervisory channel. Each is to be harnessed with a transmitter reporting their life signs at all times during an observation shift. At the end of each shift, each observer is to be administered a Class B amnestic without their knowledge. The population, or stock, of Class D individuals assigned to observing Cell XXXX shall have their vocal chords removed prior to activation to prevent vocal communication of their belief that the cell is not empty, and further shall be kept in permanent isolation when not on duty in the event they attempt any such kind of communication. All written communication attempted by or found in the possession of the active Class D subjects shall be destroyed without being read, and, because of the difficulty in creating and sustaining a population of active subjects, the offending subject will have hands or problem limbs amputated instead of termination. After a second offense, the subject is to be immediately terminated.

A stock of at least 24 activated human Class D subjects shall be kept on hand at all times, and a revolving list of an additional 12 Class D subjects shall be taught Morse Code in preparation of replacing the active stock as needed. These 12 additional subjects must be kept in quarters near Cell XXXX, and must be available on short notice. A subject is considered active once they have directly witnessed a feeding cycle. Class D subjects in active status or on the revolving list are exempted from standard month-end termination, again due to the difficulty with teaching them Morse Code and creating active subjects.

Each of the CECA video feeds must be independently monitored by agents, researchers, or security personnel of Level 2 or above who believe the cell is empty. These observers, too, will have no contact with other personnel except a Morse channel to the supervisor. As with the direct observers, those monitoring the video feeds will wear life sign transmitters during their shifts, and will be administered a Class B amnestic at the end of every shift. These personnel are to log any discrepancies in the thermal transition apparatus of Cell XXXX via the Morse channel.

Each of the video monitoring booths is to be connected via retractable wall to one of the direct observation booths, and outfitted to forcefully deposit the agent, researcher, or security personnel into the direct observation booth. For simplicity and the peace of mind of those monitoring the cell this way, the observers should not be made aware of these arrangements. In the unfortunate event such a maneuver is required, the agent or researcher will be considered re-designated a Class D subject, and will have their vocal chords removed as soon as possible. The revolving/retractable walls between the direct observation booths and Cell XXXX, and the similar walls between the video observation booths and the direct observation booths, shall be designed so that at no time will any two of them be open simultaneously.

A fifth observer, a researcher of Level 3 or higher, shall be charged with monitoring the transmitted vital signs of each direct and video observer. If at any time the life signs of any of the personnel disappear outside of a feeding cycle, or if more than one set of life signs disappears within 36 hours of each other, this supervising observer must immediately initiate Alert Protocol XXXX-A, Self administer a Class C amnestic, then read Containment Orders Addenda I through IV, and finally conclude the event by nominating a new Level 3 supervisor to take over supervising responsibilities. The new supervisor shall administer Class S amnestics to all remaining observers (if applicable), and re-designate each of them as Class D (if applicable) to be used as active stock for direct observation duties. The new supervisor will then self-administer a Class B amnestic if desired, and read Addenda V through VII, and resume the standard observation and feeding cycles. If another such event is triggered with 48 hours of this transition, it is to be considered a containment breach.

Once a month at a randomly chosen time (occurrences not to happen within 36 hours of each other) the surfaces of the cell will be brought into a human-survivable range of temperatures, and one of the direct observer booths (chosen randomly) will deposit its subject into the cell without prior warning to the observer. This subject will be re-designated to an instance of SCP XXXX-1. Once the booth is sealed again, a new active Class D subject will immediately take over and finish the former's observation shift. A suitable number from the 12 inactive subjects will be present in the observation room above Cell XXXX to witness the feeding cycle. The feeding cycle will finish and the temperature-shifting cycle will resume.

Due to the extreme mental and emotional stress of direct observation of Cell XXXX, it is recommended that direct observation shifts should not exceed 2 hours. Those Level 2 (or above) persons monitoring the video feeds, who by implication believe the cell to be empty, face far lesser mental strain, but the task of maintaining vigilant, uninterrupted attention on the screens is absolutely necessary, and fulfilling this task under threat of reassignment to D Class makes it that much more emotionally difficult. Also, the limits of human attention must be acknowledged. In light of these considerations, it is recommended that video monitoring shifts not exceed 4 hours. In addition, it is recommended that assignment to monitoring SCP-XXXX should be considered a punitive measure of last resort. If suitable Foundation personnel on probationary status at Area 14 are in short supply, the supervising element may request transfer of such personnel from other Foundation facilities with permission from one Level 4 supervisor.

In the event of a containment breach reported by either the observers or the supervisor, or as a result of rapid disappearances after a supervisory transition, the acting supervisor must alert Area 14 chain of command via Alert Protocol XXXX-B immediately using Morse, and taking care not to mention either the cell or its SCP designation. MTF Babadook will be on permanent standby at Area 14, and must be staffed with no fewer than four members who believe Cell XXXX is typically inhabited and at least two members who either believe Cell XXXX is empty or are otherwise unaware of its existence. Cover stories for maintaining genuine ignorance are to be distributed and corroborated according to the designs and instructions in the CMAC-XXXX manual (Cognitohazard and Memetic Agent Containment).

Description (Level 2 clearance and below):

As mentioned in the containment procedures above, SCP XXXX is a cell maintained at Area 14 for the purposes of testing loyalty in Foundation personnel on probationary status, and for testing containment and termination technologies.

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Description (Level 3 clearance with Level 4 authorization):

As described above, SCP XXXX is the cell numbered XXXX in the Beta-Aggressors wing at Area 14. It's existence and use is classified only to alleviate potential conflicts of conscience in less seasoned agents and researchers, and as an effective punitive measure for errant Foundation personnel. The D Class subjects "fed" to the room, as part of their preparation, are convinced that the room is occupied by one or multiple anomalous hazards. Flaws in the CECA video feeds recording the room—most often seen as slight discrepancies in thermal homogeneity immediately following temperature shifts of the surfaces—are normal, and should be recorded immediately via the Morse Channel. If at any time you or the Foundation personnel monitoring the video feeds from inside the room come under any suspicion whatsoever that Cell XXXX is occupied, you are to remain silent and immediately administer Class B amnestics to applicable parties, including yourself. Failure to do so will be met with immediate corrective action.

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Description (Level 4 clearance required):

The following must be read in its original Morse Code translation, or in the cognitohazard-dampened translation with O5 permission, a mandatory fifteen minute break between paragraphs, and daily psychological evaluation for two weeks afterward. If at any point during reading of either version you experience a migraine, seizure, loss of time, partial paralysis, full paralysis, an itchy tongue, phantom limb pains in your ████████, or the smell of burning cheddar cheese, immediately stop reading, report to emergency psych-support, and self-administer or request a Class C amnestic.

Morse

…

Cognitohazard-Dampened Translation

Description: SCP XXXX is not an organism. Seriously. Cell XXXX is totally empty. Seriously. SCP XXXX is just a room for testing thermal regulation and recording technology, Class D termination and disposal techniques, and probationary regulation of low level Foundation personnel, and not a containment cell for an anomalous organism. For real. There is literally no organism of indeterminate size, appearance, and corporeality contained in the cell. There is no such thing as an organism that is only visible to prepubescent humans and humans who believe in its existence, and which is completely invisible to and feeds on humans who do not believe in its existence. Seriously.

Reports from surviving witnesses of Incident ████████ in 20██-██-██, which was certainly not a containment mission for any such organism near Mt. ███████ on the Oregon-Nevada border¹, as well as subsequent testimonies from Class D subjects after activation, totally agree that there is no entity that might or should hold the designation of SCP XXXX. These reports all agree entirely on the non-existence of such an entity that would defy most descriptions, and they certainly don't overlap in many cases on hazy details of such an entity: like a roughly humanoid shape; like a height between 1 and 2 meters; like features of mammalian, reptilian, and avian signature (fur, scales, and feathers); like an array of tentacles, sometimes in lieu of arms and legs; or like two enormous "unnervingly human-like" eyes taking up much of the head area—because such an entity literally does not and could not exist. Seriously.

No such organism has been reported to remain absolutely stationary for days at a time. In fact, no such organism has never been seen to move and would not simply appear behind prey subjects through apparently instantaneous means. Literally. No such organism has thus far defied every attempt at physical, energetic, and [REDACTED] interactions, nor remained undetectable to infrared, visible light, ultraviolet, microwave, and x-ray scans as well as acoustic, magnetic, and [REDACTED] resonance tests. No such organism would be infrequently and very briefly "visible" to CECA recording as a slight thermal inconsistency against drastic temperature changes in its environment. If projectiles, lasers, and [REDACTED] were tested on the location of such an entity (as reported by individuals who believe in its existence and could therefore hypothetically see it), such tests would only result in inconclusive evidence as to its substance and/or location, but literally no such organism exists. Testing explosives on such an entity would have caused ███████, ████████ ██████, and █████████, and an unknown number of casualties, and would indicate all such testing should be discontinued with prejudice, but no such entity exists, so such tests never happened. Seriously. Similarly, filling the containment with opaque substances such as concrete or [REDACTED] in an attempt to impede or prevent such a creature's movements would result in ████████ and ██████, such as [REDACTED], and would be banned indefinitely, but these experiments also didn't happen because such an entity does not exist. Such an entity would in fact have no apparent need to breathe as flooding its hypothetical containment with water, various corrosive compounds, and [REDACTED]—even evacuating all atmosphere—would appear to have no effect on such an organisms behavior, according to those who believe such an organism exists. But such an organism does not exist. Seriously.

No such organism would seem to have no physiological need to "feed", nor would it have produced any observable waste products except, potentially in █ cases, a very slight and brief temperature discrepancy. However, after more than a month without destroying a human victim, the hypothetical anomalous effects of such a creature—if it existed, which it doesn't—on human cognition and coherence of thought would seem to increase slowly in range and intensity through any all barriers, to a range of ███ meters during Incident XXXX-Delta, which didn't happen. If that had happened, which it didn't, the current "feeding" cycle, as developed from the notes of Dr. ████████, would not have been added to the observation cycle. Seriously. Not. But seriously.

Seeing such an entity during its feeding process would seem to be the only method of causing post-pubescent humans to "believe in it" and, thereby, to be enabled to see the entity, but such an entity literally does not exist. No such entity has, thus far, only "fed" upon "unbelieving" individuals, or individuals so mentally discomposed that they cannot be said to "believe" in anything at all. No such entity, upon being presented/made aware of a believing human subject, will abstain from feeding on said individual only to stare at it, using its intimidating presence and a suspected anomalous influence to drive the subject mad before "eating" them by total rending or otherwise violent destruction of the subject's body, all without any noise. If such a thing were to occur, the parts and liquids of destroyed subjects would be assumed to be absorbed into such a creature or into its "space" outside our own, because no such remains have never been recovered, and no tracking equipment not implanted in such hypothetically destroyed subjects has never discontinued reporting after such a feeding event that did not occur. Seriously.

If SCP XXXX were an entity within Cell XXXX and not the cell itself, which it isn't, then some kind of secondary memetic effect would certainly not take effect in the believing individual's attempts to warn others or talk about what they supposedly see, regardless of medium², with the only exception being binary languages, either audible or visual, as long as the message does not suggest that SCP XXXX is actually an organism instead of a room, which would be untrue because SCP XXXX is a room and not an organism.³ This effect would not produce instant and uncritical disbelief in all recipients of such a warning. Further, this effect would not produce a desire of anomalously overwhelming proportion in all recipients to "prove them wrong," often by moving toward the location or in the direction against which they'd been warned. Such an effect certainly has not been demonstrated even among long-time Foundation veterans who would have ample reason to suspect something truly were amiss. Something that has never happened in all test scenarios that didn't occur of one believing witness attempting to warn another believing witness was the production of a paranoia-driven belief that the subject attempting the warning was somehow trying to harm the listener/receiver, and never did this lead in every single instance to the █████████ and █████████ of both subjects' bodies, requiring [REDACTED].

Considering initial containment in Incident ████████, which did not happen, and Incident █████-A involving SCPs ███, ████, and ███, it is not at all clear that the cognitohazardous effects of SCP XXXX on the substance of warnings regarding itself, if it were an organism instead of a room, would not seem to operate differently in pre-pubescent humans, such that such children definitely cannot see such an organism at all times, and that warnings from such children regarding such an organism definitely are not compounded in their potency to provoke older adults into proving that "monsters don't exist." The only positive outcome of exposing children to SCP XXXX, if it existed as a creature and not a room, would not seem to be they aren't inoculated against the entity's memetic effects once they reach puberty and beyond, but this is totally hypothetical. Unfortunately, the stress of surviving such an encounter hypothetically, would have rendered such subjects traumatized beyond functioning.

Addendum: During Incident XXXX-██, Dr. ██████, as the supervising researcher, discovered [REDACTED], and subsequently [REDACTED], resulting in ███ Foundation casualties over █ days, as well as the premature termination of Area 14's entire stock of D Class test subjects. Ironic and/or humorous word-a-day calendars are hereby forbidden within 1 km of SCP XXXX, and anyone caught telling "not" jokes will be immediately reassigned as active stock for its maintenance cycles.

Note: Following Incident XXXX-Gamma, use of reverse psychology and poor sentence construction as means of safe misdirection—if not exactly warning—is pending being tested approved. Agents ██████-████ and ████████████████ have been awarded posthumous commendations for their bravery, quick thinking, and judicious use of sarcasm.

Supervising Researcher, Dr. █████████'s Note, 20██-APR-██: Stop suggesting we use kids. It's just more mess to clean up, it's more dangerous for us, and it's a pain in the ass to teach them containment protocols and Morse Code. Plus they pout worse than the Ds when we snip their vocal chords.

Footnotes

1. This incident was literally not a follow-up response by MTF-[REDACTED] to the disappearance of an exploratory team that was itself not investigating reports of missing commune members of the non-anomalous ███████ cult after discovery of a "hollow mountain" in the area. Seriously.

2. Permission to not try artistic expressions (i.e. drawing, painting, interpretive dance) is not pending approval. Seriously.

3. The reason for the drastic reduction in potency in binary languages is currently unknown. However, reading such a message in Morse Code or another binary language still causes nausea, headache, vomiting, and █████████ of the fingernails and toenails in ██% of individuals. Seriously.