- Chatative, a sentient chatbot app that used to be a person. Maybe. May have ties to Are We Cool Yet? and Gamers Against Weed.Suffers from chronic loneliness, and wants to get their "body" back.
- Bra that makes your boobs big, sometimes to the point of explosion.
- Blanket butterflies that lay their eggs in piles of unfolded laundry. Caterpillars hatch, consume laundry, then cocoon themselves in the nearest whole, available blanket. Emerge as butterflies made of different fabrics, each with uniquely patterned wings that change depending on what clothes they consumed as caterpillars.
- Weeping Willows that weep actual salt water tears?
- Reed plants that grow hollow, like giant flutes, making a "singing marsh"
- A play on the word "cattails" and "cat-o-nine tails"
- Hell, maybe I should just make a giant enchanted swamp. Stick the weeping willows, flute reeds, and lashing cattails in the same place!
- Cacophonous Recorders (manufactred by Wondertainment, perhaps?) sold in bulk for children's musical classes that cause headaches, dizziness, and basically work to "stun" people.
- A violin that plays by itself
- A constantly refilling cheese and cracker platter
- The World's Smallest Violin
- Pirate Eye and Private Fly Detective Agency
- Hunter of Thunder and Lightning
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe/Euclid/Keter (indicate which class)
Special Containment Procedures: [Paragraphs explaining the procedures]
Description: [Paragraphs explaining the description]
Addendum: [Optional additional paragraphs]
Something similar has already been done with SCP-3101 (awkward sexy-bot). There are also sentient instances that communicate through music, it would seem, in SCP-3131 (multiple music people) Would have to vary up my approach if I wanted to make it viable. Then there's that Garry's Mod SCP made by Totleigh Soft, then that super disturbing meme-making SCP that was created by a crazy alt-righter and his brainwashed and abused girlfriend…
Okay, what can make Chatter stand out? The meme-making SCP seems like its consciousness is localized primarily to a macbook, though it can operate on and post from other computers.
Perhaps I could use my design and photoshop expertise to make screenshots of the "app" that Chatter is contained to. And yeah, I've decided that Chatter is an app now. Some kind of chatbot thing, but whose intelligence is localized to those devices that download the app…? Oof, there's so much I don't understand.
I mean, I want this to make sense, but I also have… very little computer knowledge. Or… chatbot knowledge. Or programming knowledge. Or knowledge of data storage and cloud servers or servers in general…
But I really want to make this work. I want Chatter to be a distinct and lively personality. SCP-3101 is very distinctive in its "speech" patterns, and "Rose" is horrifying in its own right.
Maybe, to set itself apart from all these other sapient programs, like scp3101 or Rose or dicksMcSquigee, it has a human origin. A human origin, and it's aware that it used to be human? Perhaps their human body has died, and their consciousness was somehow transferred… to the… app? But then if you download the app, how well it will be able to communicate will be dependent on the processing power of the device that the app is on, won't it? So it would need a physical "brain" somewhere out there… on some kind of server or something? A human brain would have SO MUCH data… it would probably result in gargantuan files… maybe a unique file-type? like a magical .jpg or .WAV or something, that can hold improbably amounts of information. And in order for CHATTER to work, it would probably need an internet connection. Ooh! We can have CHATTER-LIVE and CHATTER-OFFLINE. Offline versions would acquire their own knowledge though, and if they connected to the "cloud" and updated it with what they've learned, would they be wiping out their personalities? Modifying them with new information? Can someone copy these files and paste them to other sources?
I need to research how Cloud data works… I mean, the information has to be stored SOMEWHERE, physically, right? People talk about "the cloud" or whatever, but it has to have a point of origin in physical time and space.
What if… what if Chatter is someone on life-support? Using the human brain as the hardware needed to run its calculations. OH LORD, what if it uses MULTIPLE BODIES? People who are legally brain-dead and would die if taken off life-support anyways? And it wouldn't BE those people, though. Like, it can't access their memories… though I can't really think of a logical reason for it to be unable to do so.
Okay, uh… this idea is probably off the table. Can probably reuse some the of language and initial ideas though. Don't want to get rid of all this hard work, have it be for nothing. —
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be kept in standard storage containment located at Site 23. Those interested in utilizing SCP-XXXX for personal use are required to read the provided Experiment Logs and attend a short debriefing. A formal request for Permission of Use is to then be submitted to the Site Director. If permission is granted, users of SCP-XXXX must be accompanied by at least one Junior Level Researcher and one member of Security Personnel, both trained in Protocol-XXXX-Unhook. Application of SCP-XXXX is to be conducted in its assigned testing chamber, and within view of the implemented security camera.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a size-42 A brassiere made almost entirely of a clear, anomalous polymer exhibiting variable levels of viscoelasticity. The only components of SCP-XXXX that are not composed of this substance are a column of three small metallic hooks on its inner right-hand side, and three rows of corresponding fasteners on the brassiere's left-hand side.
It is theorized that this polymer can stretch indefinitely, provided it is making direct contact with at least 5 mm of exposed skin on a living organism.
Any attempts to excise sections SCP-XXXX's material result in the near-immediate liquification of the sample, once contact with the remainder of SCP-XXXX has ceased. These liquified samples are unable to be reformed into a solid state, even when subjected to temperatures of -200 C.
If any attempt at obtaining a solid sample with a surface area greater than 1 cm3 is made, the entirety of SCP-XXXX will consolidate itself into a small, gelatinous blob. The same result occurs when approximately 15% of SCP-XXXX's overall material has been removed. Researchers have been unable to draw any samples, liquid or otherwise, from SCP-XXXX while it is in this state. When left undisturbed for approximately 24 hours, SCP-XXXX will revert to its standard "brassiere" form, and will have regenerated any of its missing components. This, in theory, means that an infinite number of extractions can be performed, so long as at least one sample under the initial 1 cm3 limit is taken before SCP-XXXX's transformation into "blob" form. However, due to time constraints and the rather small size of the samples that can be extracted, this has been deemed inefficient.
In order for SCP-XXXX's primary anomalous effects to manifest, two requirements must be met - 1) At least one of SCP-XXXX hooks must be successfully inserted into one of the opposite "eyes", and 2) there must be some form of object, biological or otherwise, within SCP-XXXX's newly-created circumference.
When this happens, SCP-XXXX will change its size to snugly conform to whatever subject was placed within its radius. In the case of subjects smaller than it, SCP-XXXX will shrink; in the case of larger subjects, specifically ones that cause SCP-XXXX to stretch into a shape that makes it unrecognizable, it will redistribute its mass and alter its elasticity until it again resembles its "brassiere" form.
Once the resizing process has been completed, the inner lining of SCP-XXXX will begin to continuously secrete a substance similar to its "blob" form, now referred to as SCP-XXXX-01. How long SCP-XXXX secretes this substance depends on the overall mass, volume, and density of the subject. SCP-XXXX-01 is rapidly absorbed by the surface material it makes initial contact with, regardless of permeability.
Once sufficient amounts SCP-XXXX-01 have been absorbed, it will convert itself into a variety of substances depending on the material composition of the subject. In the case of living organisms, even non-mammals, this will result in the induction of the growth of, or outright transformation into, fatty tissues, which then take the form of a pair of human breasts.
Upon removal from the subject, SCP-XXXX will assume its original proportions, and will not activate again unless its initial requirements are met.
Addendum: Testing log, containing results of experiments carried out on the following subjects: 4 D-class personnel, two jersey dairy cows (one of each sex), two common wood ducks (one of each sex), one fifty-year old maple tree, two bottlenose dolphins (one of each sex), one granite pillar, one sheet of printing paper, and the mixer of one large cement truck. —
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX [Paragraphs explaining the procedures]
Description: SCP-XXXX is a former historical site located in [Paragraphs explaining the description]
Addendum: [Optional additional paragraphs]
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