Per 
Item #: SCP-XXXX-J
Object Class: Thaumiel
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX-Js' spread must be insured in any way possible. Researchers, Ds, Guards and all other Foundation employees affected by SCP-XXXX-J are to continue to work for the Foundation with tripled pay regardless of any other rules that would lead to them leaving the Foundation.
Description: SCP-XXXX-J refers to a phenomenon in which workers of The Foundation will react professionally to any and all events related to their assignment. This has prevented several Omega-destruction-of-the-world events, including among others [REDACTED] and the breakout of SCP-████
The cause of this phenomenon is being investigated, and upon discovery, we will expose all of those scared shitstains to it, increasing security and PROFESSIONALITY by 200%.
Example of the incompetent bastards we call researchers reacting to an issue, more exactly the [REDACTED] attacking Site-412450
> Discussion between: Miss ████████, a researcher researching SCP-████ and Agent Johnson, the leader of the nearby Task Force.
>
> Miss ████████: Site-412450 is under attack! HELP!
>
> ** Agent Johnson, surprisedly:** OK, we'll going there, what's the problem?
>
> Miss ████████: The [REDACTED] is destroying everything! If you don't get here in time it's gonna be terrible!
>
> ** Agent Johnson, nervously:** *shouts at members of the Task Force: Everyone hurry up!*
>
> *Task Force arrival*
>
> Miss ████████: They're getting into the research vault! We're doomed!
>
> ** Agent Johnson, very nervously:** We're here!
>
> Miss ████████: Get in here! The doors won't hold them much longer!
>
> Miss ████████: *sounds of shredding and human shrieks*
>
> ** Agent Johnson:** I can't take this! AAAH!
>
> ** Agent Johnson:** *Commits suicide*
>
> *Several minutes pass with the Task Force being disorganized, before finally entering the Site and eliminating the threat*
>
> Closing Statement: The mental ineptitude and emotionality of Agent Johnson caused so much confusion the Task Force couldn't make it in time, causing millions of dollars in damages, the destruction of Site-412450 and 150 otherwise preventable fatalities of researchers and security personell of the Foundation.
