Per 
- Gentle Persuasion
- Guy of the Storm
- Ark of Another Covenant
- Circuit of Every France
- Flagship of a Nonexistent Navy
Item#: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures:
Description: SCP-XXXX is
SCP-XXXX passing through █████████, Texas during a Mahoney event on 2█/07/201█.
Item#: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid Neutralized (as of ██-08-201█, see Addendum XXXX-B)
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX-A is to be housed in a standard humanoid containment cell in Site 06-3. SCP-XXXX-A is required to visit with its psychiatrist (currently Dr. Elian Schlosser) on a monthly basis and as needed. SCP-XXXX-A has been implanted with a GPS tracker to monitor its whereabouts during and after Mahoney events. The subject is to wear a flotation vest at all times from June 1 May 15 to November 30 (a span of time hereby referred to as "hurricane season") to prevent accidental drowning during a Mahoney event.
Uniforms worn by SCP-XXXX-A must be made of fabric with the CMUG-XXXX1 pattern so as to prevent the subject's containment breaches from being noticed by the public at large.
SCP-XXXX-B is to be stored in a non-anomalous object storage unit in Site 06-3 and repaired as needed. During hurricane season, it may not be used by anyone except SCP-XXXX-A or disassembled, except as required by testing. At all times, the object must contain the following equipment:
- Twelve standard-issue MREs
- Six 1-liter plastic water bottles
- One rechargeable, high-capacity Li-ion battery
- One durable, consumer-grade portable solar panel
- One oxygen rebreather
- One waterproof satellite phone (with AC adapter)
- One portable reverse osmosis filter
- One flare gun and four compatible flares (contingent on subject's continued cooperation and restriction of use to emergencies)
Containment breaches of both objects are inevitable, but predictable. During hurricane season, all personnel assigned to SCP-XXXX must be kept as informed as feasibly possible on the status of storm systems in the North Atlantic. After the completion of a Mahoney event, the Foundation site nearest to the location of SCP-XXXX. The site shall immediately deploy a recovery crew inoculated against CMUG-XXXX to return SCP-XXXX to Site-06-03.
As per information blackout protocols, any data that confirms or suggests the presence of SCP-XXXX during Mahoney events2 is to be altered immediately by Foundation assets inserted into key positions in the US Air Force, NOAA, NASA, and other relevant concerns. Foundation webcrawler Delta-XXXX ("The Scrying Dutchman") is used to find possible civilian discoveries of SCP-XXXX and alert personnel. However, all but ██ of these have proven to be false leads.
Description: SCP-XXXX is the collective designation for two objects, hereby referred to as SCP-XXXX-A and SCP-XXXX-B.
SCP-XXXX-A is a 3█ year-old male human of Mediterranean and South Asian descent known as Guy-Joseph Thangal. Subject has been diagnosed with clinical depression and post-traumatic stress disorder that are believed to be caused or worsened by its current state.
SCP-XXXX-B is a brown leather reclining club chair that was manufactured for the Galeries Lafayette department store chain in the 1990s. It shows signs of damage consistent with both regular use and long-term exposure to seawater and high-humidity environments. Additionally, it has been modified since acquisition by the Foundation and has had a watertight storage locker installed inside of it in order to allow the storage of survival implements.
The anomalous traits of SCP-XXXX manifest when more than one cyclone system with a defined eye3 is present in the Atlantic Ocean north of the Equator. This results in a Mahoney event, in which both components of SCP-XXXX are instantaneously teleported to the exact center of the eye of the oldest valid storm. At the beginning of a Mahoney event, SCP-XXXX-A is always sitting with its back erect and eyes open on top of SCP-XXXX-B.
For the duration of the event, both objects will move the same distance on the horizontal plane that the storm has. After an event begins, SCP-XXXX-A can move independently and will react to external stimuli as normal. However, SCP-XXXX-B becomes intangible to all atomic matter except SCP-XXXX-A and items already "attached"4 to itself prior to the event.
Regardless, both objects will continue to be acted on by an anomalous force which pushes them on the horizontal plane the same distance that the eye's center has traveled. The unassisted deliberate movement of SCP-XXXX-A is done relative to this; however, attempts to rescue the subject using a vehicle have universally resulted in [DATA EXPUNGED] damage and injury due to this anomalous increase in force.
Mahoney Events have universally ceased when the number of cyclones that pass the requisite conditions reaches one or zero. When this occurs, SCP-XXXX is instantaneously teleported to a random point in the Rhône-Alpes region of France. 7█% of all destination points have been within the departments of Lyon, Savoie, or Haute-Savoie5.
History: According to SCP-XXXX-A, the anomalous behavior of itself and SCP-XXXX-B first manifested during a 3-day Mahoney event beginning on 10 September 2006. SCP-XXXX-A lived alone at the time and had no nearby family or close friends, so no missing person report was filed.
SCP-XXXX was not observed during the initial Mahoney incident due to low public and scientific interest in Hurricane Florence. Following the dispersal of Florence on 13 September, SCP-XXXX was re-centered on Hurricane Gordon. SCP-XXXX-A was first discovered by the crew of the US Air Force aircraft 53d WRS WC-130█ in a state of stupor. The crew attempted an impromptu rescue mission, which initially appeared to be a success. However, SCP-XXXX-A breached the hull of the plane while it was leaving the eye, resulting in the plane crashing and its entire crew perishing.
Foundation Agent Kiyoko was present at Keesler Air Force Base at the time that Mission Control was alerted by a 53d squadron ground crew about the crash. Agent Kiyoko then called in backup from Site-88 and was able to implement a provisional information quarantine while more information could be obtained regarding the anomaly.
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Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid Keter (Uncontained)
Special Containment Procedures: Since the containment breach on ██/██/1970, SCP-XXXX has been in the possession of the Communist Party of China and administered by GoI-513, Unit 666 of the People's Armed Police. Its existence is classified, but known to almost all high-ranking government ministers within the country. Due to the critical nature of SCP-XXXX to the Chinese government and the very concept of "China", multiple officials have warned that any attempt at repossession or containment of the object would be considered an act of war.
[need to put in a good segue] In order to facilitate Foundation operations in the PRC and its sphere of influence, the São Lázaro Compact was ratified by the Foundation and relevant parties within the governments of the People's Republics of China and Angola. The terms of the compact include a clause that allows the Foundation limited ability to test objects under the control of Unit 666, in exchange for Unit 666 being able to request conditional use of amnestics, SRAs, and other Foundation technology.
Description: SCP-XXXX is an object that has the dimensions and outward appearance of a
Recovery: [Optional additional paragraphs]
Disclaimer: this was thought of while i was really, really baked and reading scips
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: As per the second amendment to the Blum-Guitart-Kahn agreement, the offices of SCP-XXXX-A and the Bishopric of Urgell have been synonymous since ██/██/1936, with only one unintentional Versailles Event since then (see description and addendum for additional details). This arrangement is optimal for containment and testing purposes, due to the appointed, lifelong nature of the office and the co-rulership of the state of Andorra that is automatically granted to its holder.
SCP-XXXX is presently manifested in the office of the late Dr. Joan-Ramon Vergera at Site-513, where it has mostly remained since ██/██/1937. The entry and exit points of the phenomenon are located in the original location of the office's power outlets, which have accordingly been refitted with cables routing their signal through a device which automatically transcribes all information passing through SCP-XXXX. Communication with the universes that SCP-XXXX also affects may only be conducted during designated times in Standard French using International Morse.
All maintenance, direct physical manipulation, and testing of SCP-XXXX is not to be performed by official Foundation employees, but by "at-large" Foundation employees whose de jure post is as an Andorran civil servant, an employee of the European Union living in Andorra, or an agent of the Vatican Holy Office for Secrets and Prophecies on the payroll of the Bishop of Urgell. The alternative means of keeping SCP-XXXX under Foundation control, transferring SCP-XXXX-A to a Foundation employee, has been placed under an indefinite moratorium to ensure the cooperation of the Roman Catholic Church and the Andorran government with other operations prohibited by the Overseer council in light of recent events.
Any present Foundation employees who desire to work with SCP-XXXX may put in a formal request to do so with the Site Supervisor. Please note that working with these organizations does not, under normal circumstances, require a full memory wipe, unlike most means of exiting the foundation. Please note that those assigned to SCP-XXXX have very specific restrictions and will be placed under a level of surveillance higher than many Foundation employees may be used to.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a phenomenon affecting wired telegraphs, or connections to other types of electrical lines. An SCP-XXXX manifestation event results in the anomalous severing of one (1) or two (2) of said connections that fulfill the following requirements:
- Theoretically capable of transmitting telegraph signals at a legible precision and intensity
- Are connected to wires composed of a filament of copper or a majority-copper alloy
- Are of high importance to the operations of a state or organization led by a person who is widely acknowledged as being SCP-XXXX-A.
SCP-XXXX-A is both the abstract concept of the title of "King of the Franks" and the living person who holds the title or the title that is effectively the closest to its historical definition. As the title of "King of the Franks" was out of use since the High Middle Ages6 and the title "King of France" and "King of the French" have not been held by a reigning monarch since 1848, SCP-XXXX-A has instead been held by several other individuals, primarily the head of state of France. The existing SCP-XXXX-A instance when SCP-XXXX first manifested in 1869 was Louis-Napoleon Bonaparte, Emperor of France.
History prior to 1946:
Realities known to exist that are connected by SCP-XXXX:
Addendum-1A:
SCP-XXXX-A manned by three Hungarian seamen in 1938.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX-A is to be held in Storage Garage 54-U when not in use. It is to be professionally inspected and driven by an on-site mechanic on a monthly basis. Due to the anomalous properties of the vehicle, its engine is not located within the vehicle itself and is
SCP-XXX-B has not been moved from its current position, due to the extreme difficulty involved in moving a beached ship, especially one of its size. Provisional Site-1921 has been established around SCP-XXXX-B, using the cover story of a NATO-operated radio quiet zone. Information blackout procedures are unnecessary, as the object is already hidden underneath dense forest canopy.
Description: SCP-XXXX is an anomalous phenomenon affecting two objects: a custom-built Ford Model 48 De Luxe Coupe (SCP-XXXX-A), and the SMS Pannonia a heavily modified Tegethoff-class battleship. Notably, SCP-XXXX-B has been located 8██ km inland in Hungary's Danube-Ipoly National Park since it was discovered by GRU-P operatives in 194█. Based on the limited information still available in the item's file after it was acquired by the Foundation, it is believed to have been built there.
Addendum: [Optional additional paragraphs]
