WrinkleFuck49's SCP-3648


Item #: SCP-3648

Object Class: Safe.

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3648 is to be kept in a standard research cell, with level 2 clearance needed to access the cell. Foundation personnel are not to interact with SCP-3648 at any time, unless ordered to or given permission to do so.

Description: SCP-3648 is a bench belonging to the fast food company McDonald's, with a statue of Ronald McDonald attached to it. It is divided in SCP-3648, a light brown wooden bench, and SCP-3648-1, the statue of Ronald McDonald. It was recovered in [REDACTED], Mexico after several reports of people dying on the bench due to heart failure, mostly young children.

When a subject sits on SCP-3648, they will start rising in cholesterol levels, dying within 30 seconds of sitting on SCP-3648. If the subject is left on the bench for 2 minutes, their liver will explode, making the cholesterol stop being produced.

If a hamburger is placed in front of the SCP-3648, SCP-3648-1 will deattach from the chair, starting to laugh, in a voice comparable to the voice of Ronald McDonald from Japanese McDonald's commercials. People within range of SCP-3648-1 will burst out in laughter as well, until the hamburger is removed. When the burger is removed, SCP-3648-1 will sit back on 3648. Depending on the quality of the hamburger, the range will increase or decrease.

If a hamburger made by employees at a fast food chain such as Burger King or Wendy's is placed in front of SCP-3648, SCP-3648-1 will enter a state of rage, standing up and laughing rapidly. It will then proceed to burst its containment door open with a headbutt, then running around the foundation, headbutting anything it comes across, killing any human victims via skull fracture and lethal brain damage. The rage effect will wear off after 30 minutes, or after another burger that does not come from a fast food restaurant is presented to SCP-3648-1. After calming down, SCP-3648-1 will walk over to SCP-3648, sitting back down and humming the McDonald's jingle as soon as it does so.

Further research is needed to recognize the waves that SCP-3648-1's laugh emmits, having proven that the waves that cause laughter aren't sound waves, nor waves like the waves satelites emmit and recieve. Though, it has been proven that thick concrete walls can lessen the effect.

SCP-3648-1 seems to be made out of standard Portland cement, covered in red, white, yellow and black paint, painted to resemble Ronald McDonald. If SCP-3648-1 is inactive, it will be attached to SCP-3648. Any attempts to remove SCP-3648-1 from SCP-3648 will result in failure, and whatever tool is being used to separate it will snap in half.

Log of tests with SCP-3648:

Subject: D-3648-1
Subject was ordered to sit down on SCP-3648 for 30 seconds.
Result:Subject died of heart failure, being removed from SCP-3648 around 5 seconds after death.

Subject: D-3648-2
Subject was ordered to sit down on SCP-3648 until further notice.
Result: Subject was left on the bench for a week. Upon inspection, the subject's lower torso had been opened, with its liver missing, and pieces of the liver (Along with blood) being scattered on the room.

Log of tests with SCP-3648-1

Item:A rotten, week-old homemade hamburger
Subjects: D-3648-1 and D-3648-2
The item was placed in front of SCP-3648, making SCP-3648-1 stand up and start laughing.
Result: Both subjects burst out into laughter, kicking away the item as they did so. SCP-3648-1 sat back down as it stopped laughing. Subjects stopped laughing.

Item: One profesionally made, high quality hamburger.
Subject: D-3648-3
Subject placed the item in front of SCP-3648, making SCP-3648-1 stand up and start laughing.
Result: Reports say that the entire continent burst out in laughter. After 20 minutes of struggling, and several deaths by suffocation, foundation personnel managed to move the hamburger away from SCP-3648, making SCP-3648-1 sit back down and stop laughing.

Item: One Burger King hamburger.
Subject: D-3648-3
Subject placed the item in front of SCP-3648.
Result: SCP-3648-1 stood up, rapidly laughing. SCP-3648 ran towards the subject, killing it instantly with a headbutt. SCP-3648-1 proceeded to headbutt its door, then running through Site-██ in a containment breach. 7 foundation staff members were killed before SCP-3648-1 was presented with a poorly made hamburger, which caused it to stop laughing, and walk back to SCP-3648. Upon sitting down on SCP-3648, SCP-3648-1 hummed shortly to the rhythm of the McDonald's jingle.