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Item Designation: E-072
Item Description: E-072 is an anomalous phenomena
Dr. Keith Partridge looked at the blinking cursor in front of him and truly felt like he was being tormented. This was finally his chance to return to working condition and he was stuck. He had finally, after a particularly nasty tree-related scenario that rivaled even that Christmas, been approved by the resident psych evaluator to continue working with anomalous objects.
So having trouble writing his first report, and for a simple anomaly too, was incredibly frustrating. He’d already been late to work thanks to the road being closed on Main Street- he didn’t need another thing to ruin his day. It seemed he would get no relief, however, as the cursor continued to taunt him.
He removes the word anomalous. No need to be redundant. He then remembered they had an entire section of explained anomalies and entered it back in. Partridge then argued that if it were explained, it would have -EX at the end of the designation, so there was no need to explain it was anomalous. He then argued at himself that anomalous objects, events, and phenomena that didn’t fit SCP categorization would most likely be exempt from that kind of specificity.
Repeat ad infinitum.
Eventually, Partridge was broken out of his self-critical revelry by the arrival of one Dr. Quentin Harrison, from gastronomy. Seeing him just bitterly reminded Partridge that he was not, currently, working on recording a plant-based anomaly, as was his expertise. What a pain. "Hey, Keith? Shift's over."
Partridge blinked at him and turned to look at the clock. The man was right. "…Shit." He had gotten lost in his thoughts then- which was becoming more common for him. It was an easy thing to do when you were a tree. Not much quick energy output.
Quentin smirked and crossed his arms. "You've been on the same report for hours, haven't you?" The herbology scientists groaned in defeat and started getting ready to leave. "You know Weiss is going to prune you if you can't finish that report.”
"Well aware, Harrison. Don't you have to go make yourself busy with a 'routine checkup' on the Black Garden?" He gave Harrison an unamused glare, the accusation clear as day.
Quentin flushed. "Hey, sorry for trying to be a bit friendly, Keith. You know that we need to keep an eye on all restaurants in Sloth's Pit for anomalous activity- no matter how unlikely." He scoffed and turned to leave. "Besides, my dating life happens to be none of your concern when outside of Foundation personnel."
Partridge glowered at his retreating back and continued to get ready to head home. Another annoying coworker.
Item Designation: E-072
Item Description: E-072 is a phenomenon affecting the town of Sloth's Pit, Wisconsin. When the town has performed in an unsatisfactory way to the narrative force affecting it,
Patridge groaned and rested his head against the steering wheel, taking a deep, soothing breath. The roadblock had grown larger. Some kinda… Accident, supposedly. A car ran into a transformer and blew it up. Or maybe a hole ripped open in the fabric of the universe. Whatever kind of normal event Sloth's Pit experienced, but it was now posing a larger annoyance to Partridge than simply making his trip longer.
When he arrived at work, Partridge was late, which was another nail on his record. It was starting to look like a teenager wanted to emulate the spiked bats seen in apocalyptic movies, and Partridge was past his teenage years. Not that far past, thank you very much.
He offered Harrison a glare as he passed by, which the man returned. He didn't have much to hold against the man, but he was frustrated. He couldn't choose the right words. He knew this anomaly- he could understand it. He just couldn't get the words right.
Partridge made his way to his station, turning on his computer, and opened up the file on E-072. He immediately frowned as he read over his hasty addition from this morning. He did not want to make his report rely on his colleagues' discovery for the article. That would simply be too much.
E-072 was a rather benign anomaly, of all things. It was mostly unavoidable and would solve itself. Anyone could have been chosen to write this. So why was it me? Partridge thought to himself. He hoped Director Weiss wasn't questioning his work- he may have had some accidents over the years, but he was a brilliant researcher!
And yet, Partridge could not help but think of his thematically relevant anomalous mistakes and mishaps. He had already heard a few rumors and horror stories of Dr. King's reactions to the influx of Malus Domestica seeds. He wasn't becoming such a nuisance. Was he?
The doctor began to fret but quickly pushed it down. No. He was an excellent and useful asset to the Foundation. He may have been only in charge of botany, but that was no small feat considering the unpleasantness of Autumn. He was useful and important.
As he pressed his finger to the backspace, the sounds of a containment breach alarm echoed through Site 87. Considering that most breaches weren't that much of a bother in Sloth's Pit, this was a cause for alarm. He stood up, looked at his work with a wistful sigh, and abandoned his computer.
Item Designation: E-072
Item Description: E-072 is a phenomenon affecting the town of Sloth's Pit, Wisconsin. After a prolonged, varied period where uneventful situations (whether anomalous or not) have occurred, E-072 will manifest. The direct causes for a manifestation of E-072 are currently unknown, but due to the anomaly lacking a harmful effect, it is currently low Foundation priority.
Date of Discovery: 5/16/2019
Location of Discovery:
Partridge paused his typing and scrolled back up to check over his work. Something… wasn't clicking. What was it? He was back in his office, the room itself entirely unharmed. Despite such an alarming breach, the anomaly had quickly been contained. It was surprising. Some damage here and there, a few injuries, and yet nothing else of major note. It was… strange.
Something felt off, and though Partridge didn't know what, it felt like something was looming over his head, waiting to drop. Maybe an anvil. Maybe a realization. Whatever it was, it stubbornly remained out of reach, invisible, and still very much there. Just like the narrative-damned roadblock. It was bigger.
Partridge took a sip from his coffee, and nearly dropped it when he heard a knock on his door. Turning, he saw Dr. Harrison. Coughing, he turned and looked at the man. His arm was in a sling- nothing major, he knew for sure. Harisson would be back to being the local FDA soon enough.
"Keith," he said, "how's the report coming along?" Partridge nodded nonchalantly, which seemed to leave Harrison unsatisfied in terms of answers. "Well, great to know, I guess." He tapped the door frame rhythmically. "Have you, by any chance, figured out any way of getting it to… I don't know, stop?"
Partridge looked at the man with a raised eyebrow. "I've told you, it will only conclude on its own. We just have to wait, no matter how frustrating." He rubbed the bridge of his nose. "How very, very frustrating." Partridge crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. "To answer your question, I'm stuck again. It just… doesn't seem to be working. Something doesn't seem to be working."
Quentin frowned. "Well, why don't you join some of us from Gastronomy for dinner? Stewing over this probably won't help. You should do something to take your mind off of it." He gestured down the hall as he spoke.
Partridge sighed. Did he really have time for this…? But, then again… He had been concerned they were shutting him out. And yet Quentin was inviting him to join him. "Sure thing." He stood up and leaned over to turn off his computer when an idea struck his head like lightning. "Oh. Oh my god."
The other scientist gave him a funny look, stepping into the office and looking at the screen. "Am I supposed to be seeing something?"
The professional herbologist laughed an odd thing that didn't truly suit his expression. "Oh my god, I should have realized it earlier!" He turned to his computer and began to quickly type and edit.
Item Designation: E-072
Item Description: E-072 is a phenomenon affecting the town of Sloth's Pit, Wisconsin. After a prolonged, varied period where uneventful situations (whether anomalous or not) have occurred, E-072 will manifest. E-072 is believed to be caused by a lack of abnormal or exciting events occurring to the residents, resulting in a roadblock that appears in Main Street. The longer the town remains uneventful, and no resolutions are met, the roadblock will continue to expand.
Date of Discovery: 5/16/2019
Location of Discovery: Main Street, Sloth's Pit, Wisconsin
Current Status: Manifested
He turned back to Harrison and clapped his hands, startling the researcher. "Okay so- god, I can't believe it took me so long to realize this- narrative runs this place, right? That's common knowledge." Harrison nodded, his face marred by confusion. "Well, when a writer can't seem to get a good story going…"
Harrison came to the realization too, and groaned, rolling his eyes. "They've got writer's block." He looked up into the sky and shook his head. "Way to be punny, narrative."
Partridge grinned and stood up, patting Harrison on the shoulder. "Now then, what was this about dinner? I'm in for some celebratory drinks."
The next morning, Keith Partridge found himself grinning as he noticed the roadblock had shrunk.
