Xindaris

Idea 1: two syllables or less, <=n letter words only—

Hazard warning: The object described below conveys danger and must be written and spoken about with caution. Do not attempt to describe the object without proper training.

[[it's just a format screw…I can't think of anything compelling that it does if you describe it wrong. Maybe it'd be funny if it just "spills out information" from being described in too-complex of English? So, not actually dangerous but a secrecy problem.]]

Idea 2: Germ obsession

[[Two pieces:
alpha: memetic effect which causes one to perceive (not see but 'become aware of') disease (beta). Transmission of alpha requires knowledge of some/most of beta's symptoms, a name beta is "known by", and (in order to take effect) "belief" that beta is a real disease.
beta: present on most surfaces initially, including human skin, animal fur, etc. Can be removed by any antibacterial cleaner: common soap, bleach, so on. Transmits from surface to surface by contact, regardless of how recently new surface was cleaned. beta is fatal, but all of its early symptoms resemble innocuous effects: itching, mild muscle aches, etc.

Containment:
-"alpha" team consists of people who know beta's nicknames and symptoms but do not believe in them. "alpha" team with the help of foundation webcrawlers find any mention in news, websites, etc. of a disease, send an MTF for confirmation/extraction/cover-up
-"beta" team refers to alpha as beta, beta as alpha, so that the disease fails to take on scp-x-alpha or scp-x-beta as a "new name"/vector for infection. beta team monitors alpha team for signs of memetic infection: ritualistic cleansing behavior, etc. beta team must not learn symptoms or names for beta.

also the disease is real or something, the meme just removes a natural immunity to it. Or maybe that's too stupid.]]

Idea 3 (really stupid): Downton Abbey but they're all/mostly dead
Anomalous video which can be copied and retain its properties. Appears to be an episode of Downton Abbey (a specific episode, but I'm not familiar enough with the show to decide which one myself). Shot for shot, the camera-work, settings, props, costumes, etc. match the real episode. But the actors are all corpses, in states of decay matching how long ago a person their in-show age would've been dead by present day. Maybe an infant or two is shown as a grown adult still displaying the behavior of an infant or something. Viewing the episode [in full? Cumulative majority? whatever] causes some sort of cognitohazard relating to one's perception of British social order. or nobility in general, or something.

Safe, single copy contained in a locker somewhere.

Idea 4: Definitely a human.

Item #: SCP-X

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-X is human. Knowledge of SCP-X is restricted to SCP-X/2-level staff and the SCP-X subcommittee of the ethics people only. All staff with knowledge are to be reminded on a regular basis that SCP-X is human, and excluded from any projects which may compromise their empathy or their ability to perceive SCP-X as human. SCP-X is to be housed in a double-sized humanoid containment unit and provided amenities as the SCP-X subcommittee deems appropriate. Under no circumstances is staff other than D-class to describe SCP-X as anything other than a human being. If SCP-X is interviewed, it is to be referred to in person by titles such as "Sir or "Mister" rather than its designation in order to emphasize its status as a human.
[and something about people being amnesticized as soon as possible if they're not supposed to know about SCP-X but they find out anyway].

Description: SCP-X is human. If a human treats SCP-X as anything other than human, including describing it as something else or treating it in any sufficiently inhumane manner, its primary anomalous effect activates on the offending human, which [REDACTED].

Addendum 1: Discovery/retrieval/whatever:
[Not sure how to word all this but] A family was reported missing, police who went to their home to investigate discovered a group of extremely distressed and/or injured laborador retrievers, and then discovered SCP-X, activating its anomalous effect on police officer [black] [boxes]. Then the Foundation was contacted and took over.

Addendum 2: Abbreviated testing log:

Test 3
Procedure: D-A is presented with a photograph of SCP-X and asked what is in the photograph.
Results: D-A said "It's just a [REDACTED]." Primary anomalous effect not observed.

Test 4
Procedure: D-A is shown live video footage of SCP-X's living quarters and asked what is living there.
Results: D-A said "It's the same [REDACTED] as before." Primary anomalous effect activated. Resulting Labrador retriever disposed of [in the usual way (need better wording)].

Test 5
Procedure: D-B is shown a recording of the same footage D-A was shown.
Results: Identical to test 4.

Test 8
Procedure: D-C is shown the footage from test 4 and asked to type a description of SCP-X's physical characteristics, being careful to avoid using words such as [REDACTED]. An automated process is to produce two copies of the document, the first of which replaces relevant vague nouns with "SCP-X" while the second replaces them with "[REDACTED]". After this, D-D is to read each description and verbally conclude what it is describing.
Results: Primary anomalous effect not observed for D-C, as expected. D-D indicates that both descriptions are of a [REDACTED], specifically [REDACTED], but does not display primary anomalous effect in either case.

Test 10
Procedure: D-C (amneticized since test 8) is prompted to describe SCP-X as a [REDACTED] with no further context.
Results: D-C activates primary anomalous effect. Resulting Labrador retriever disposed of [in the usual way (need better wording)].

Addendum 3: After examining the results of previous tests, researcher so-and-so proposed keeping the resultant Labrador of SCP-X's anomalous effects for observation, in order to identify whether any further anomalies were present. Test 1 was replicated with a new D-class and the resulting Labrador kept in [standard canine keeping procedures+quarantine stuff yadda yadda]. Despite the Labrador being the only creature inside the [cell?], vocalizations were heard from within, particularly complaints about "being forced to eat dog food", [etc.]. The Labrador ate very little of its food [at first]. After [some] weeks, the Labrador was taken out for a walk in an attempt to [raise its morale or something]. It assaulted [researcher/security officer/something] and was shot. The autopsied body, despite being that of a dog, was wearing [half-destroyed clothes] and displayed organs and DNA of [original D-class affected by anomaly]. Re-evaluation of SCP-X's effects are underway following the results of this test.

[make sure it gets tagged "infohazard" + "cognitohazard"]

Idea 5: Communication Compression Disorder.

Class: Keter

Containment Procedures: Grab people who have the condition and keep them. Experiments involving putting people with the condition together in social interaction is encouraged to maintain their morale. Possibly something about using them to contain certain other conceptual or whatever anomalies that the condition prevents them from being properly exposed to. Foundation people who suddenly develop the condition don't get special treatment but have to be replaced ASAP.

Description: A cognitohazardous condition with unknown transmission vector (NOT an infohazard) which affects (some small percent) of people. Those affected exhibit two properties:

1. Every attempt at language use results in just giving a terse description of the kind of communication the person intends, with NONE of the content of that communication. A person under the condition who wants to say "I'm hungry. Do you wanna go get a sandwich?" will instead say "Statement. Question?". If they write a letter it'll probably start with "Name" on the first line, "Name" on the second, then the content of the letter itself is "Statement. Statement. Question? Exclamation!" etc., and on the envelope they will put "Address." where the addresses are supposed to be. In speech they still emote normally, and their handwriting is still the same (where someone who was normal before gets affected by the SCP). This even extends beyond the use of language sometimes, like an artist who's become affected by the condition will pull out a canvas and paint only to grab just the black paint and VERY CAREFULLY, SLOWLY draw the world "Picture." on the canvas, then step away as if they've just completed a great work of art.

2. Anyone affected by the condition who is experiencing any communication produced by someone ELSE with it will perceive it as normal communication. In that last example someone under the condition would understand the canvas with "Picture." drawn on it as a beautiful landscape or whatever the artist imagined they were painting. So they can hold conversations between each other and so on. However, they perceive NORMAL communication of all kinds as jumbled messes of information which are too dense to parse. The simple question "What is your name?" from a normal person will enter the mind of a person under the condition as a jumbled mass of every concept involved in the words "what", "is", "your", and "name" all at once with no logical connections to help them understand what's actually being asked. Normal text looks like all the words in any given sentence or such appearing printed all on top of each other to the point of being unreadable. So on, so forth.

Open the article with a RAISA notice that a corrupted file is being viewed, and here's a link to the REAL file. The corrupted file is the "this-SCP-ified" version of the real file that goes like—

Label: Letters-Number

Label: Imperative. Statement. {etc.}

Label: Statement. Statement. {etc.}

The article itself includes interview logs demonstrating the effect. Two affected people converse cheerfully with each other like:
SCP-whatever-A: Greeting.
SCP-whatever-B: Greeting!
A: Name. (offers hand to shake)
B: Name.
A: Question? Statement.
B: Statement. Question?
A: (Laughs) Compliment.

Then an interviewer talking normally tries to talk to someone under the condition (maybe a fellow researcher who just got hit with it):
Researcher: Good morning, {Name here}.
SCP-blah: Question? (holds head) Exclamation!
Researcher: Do you understand what I am saying at all?
SCP-blah: Question? Question!?
Researcher: Please, try to calm down.
SCP-blah: Exclamation! Imperative.

After all that, a researcher gets an idea, and then there's an interview where they talk like an affected person but annotate what they "think they mean" by each label.
Researcher: Statement (Good morning, {name}).
SCP-blah: Exclamation! Question?
Researcher: Statement (I can't understand you, but you seem surprised). Question (Can I take this to mean you actually understood me this time?).
SCP-blah: (nodding) Statement. Exclamation! …Question?
Researcher: Statement (I'm having to guess what you're asking, but I assume it's something like 'Can you really not understand me?'). Question (Is that it)?
SCP-blah: (nodding again) Statement. Statement. Statement.
Researcher: Request (Can you slow down a little, please)? Statement (It would be easiest for me to understand you by asking yes-no questions and having you respond to them with nodding or shaking your head, instead of talking).
SCP-blah: …Expression. (nods)

Following this, the foundation starts using people affected by this condition to help contain certain conceptual or verbal anomalies or whatever, I dunno.

Idea 6:

"Bees' Nail Salon", a nail salon run by a hive/which is a hive of bees. The bees do all the usual nail salon things, but…they're bees.