yazshu sandbox: suicide kings

Suicide King

SCP-XXXX

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be consistently used in assigned D-Class card games hosted at least three times a week. When SCP-XXXX chooses a player, it is to be specially tracked by observers trained in card counting as to reduce unwanted contamination. When not in use, SCP-XXXX is to be stored in an air-tight safe.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a king of hearts playing card coming from a standard 52-card deck, with an X marked in permanent marker on the face of the king¹. When used in play, mainly whilst gambling, the first person to draw and play the card will always achieve the best outcome possible.² This effect deteriorates when it is used multiple times by the same player. Once SCP-XXXX has been used in play and sequentially wins the player the game, the player³ will continue playing until unable.

The player will always die via self-inflicted lacerations with SCP-XXXX on their person. Regardless of the circumstances of their life, the people who knew the player will always regard them fondly.

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Discovery: SCP-XXXX was discovered on █/██/2018 after Foundation contacts embedded in the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department noticed an uncharacteristically high number of suicide cases resulting from lacerations outside of various casinos and bars in the district. Foundation lookouts managed to find a recently deceased body with the same method of death, identified as 32-year-old lawyer Isaac Baron outside of ██████ Resort & Casino. According to accounts from Baron's colleagues, Baron was in Las Vegas to attend a law seminar. SCP-XXXX was found attached to a torn scrap of paper found on Baron's body, containing a message to his spouse.

Dear ████,
I've lost everything.
I fucking told you that you should've kept our goddamn money to yourself. I know I've been pulling it in, but I have the mental willpower of a fucking toddler and I can't even hold down a fucking cent without shoving it into some fucking void to get a single second of a dopamine high so I can give a shit about myself for a minute.

I wasn't here for some dumb fucking speech. Why would the big-shot, blood-soaked lawyers in the goddamn Strip who'd be able to bail out a man for gunning someone down in broad daylight want some redneck motherfucker from Ohio to tell them how to do their jobs? Delilah, I came here to gamble my shit life away and fuck prostitutes. I threw my life away just for a delusional fantasy of being a high-roller. And the worst part is that it almost fucking worked.

The house must've fucked up and thought I was some gangster. They rigged it in my favor and turned a complete blind-eye to it. First game of blackjack and they immediately dealt me a marked card. Didn't question it because I try not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but I took it too far. After a cool jackpot or two they weren't taking my shit, either they caught on that I wasn't the guy they were supposed to be riding or they didn't care either way and just wanted to get their shit back. I knew it, and I kept fucking going. I was believing that shit they say about good luck charms, and that marked card was mine. It always came back to me. I stared into the King's marked faces and I shoveled every fucking dime I've ever made into his mouth, and hoped to lick the pennies out of his shit.

Security had to drag me out into the back alley and kick me in the stomach to keep me from trying to claw my way back into the building. I found a broken bottle next to the dumpster and cut myself I can see the neon lights from the casino bathing me in their colorful waves and I look up to see the decks of cards and the wonderful neon ladies moving their legs and i see the smile of the heart beating down on me

im sorry ████ i love you

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Incident Report XXXX.██.██.18: Two days after acquisition and containment of SCP-XXXX, the item was found missing from the low-threat anomalous item storage on Site-██. The item was found a day later on a deceased D-Class personnel, D-18526, who was currently in solitary confinement for assault and murder of another D-Class. Security footage and accounts from personnel show that D-18526 and multiple other D-Class were running a hidden gambling ring within the D-Class populace of the site. D-18526 seemingly assaulted and killed D-27412 after losing a game of Texas Hold 'Em run during the allotted D-Class free period. Review of security footage from the cell shows that D-18526 was able to conceal a crudely fashioned knife on his person whilst being transferred into solitary.⁴ D-18526 used the knife to commit suicide via severing of the jugular vein, and died during transfer to the D-Class medical bay. SCP-XXXX was found pressed upon D-18526's chest. Review of the security footage of SCP-XXXX's original containment shows that Junior Researcher ██████ opened the safe while looking for another anomalous item, and left the door to the safe ajar. When janitorial staff readjusted the ventilation in the room later that day, SCP-XXXX seemingly blew out of its opened safe, flew in between the bars of a ventilation grille on the opposite wall, and apparently followed the air flow into the vent above D-18526's room, where it coincidentally fell into his card deck which he was currently sorting on his desk. After recovery, SCP-XXXX was put back into storage.

Incident Report XXXX.██.██.18: Three months after the previous incident involving SCP-XXXX, the item was again found missing from the medium-threat anomalous item storage on Site-██. Review of the week's security footage showed that the security camera situated closest to SCP-XXXX's current container was only disabled for three minutes during cleaning by Site-██ Janitor Richard ████.

Signed Yours Truly, The Whale

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures:

Description: SCP-XXXX is an extraterrestrial object resembling a 20th century British ocean liner, currently residing in the inner Oort cloud between 250-300 AU from the sun. While the vessel itself resembles a standard ocean liner, there are various modifications intregated into the vessel that allows it to achieve advanced space-flight on par with modern anomalously-aided Foundation satellites. Such modifications include two engines protruding from the sides, styled somewhat similiarly to early Foundation prototypes from the time period, primitive photon sails raised from the upper decks of the ship, various laser displays used for creating holographic images, and an advanced AI autopilot.

Despite the advanced technology installed on the vessel, SCP-XXXX has sustained heavy damage over its flight, resulting in its two main engines and the majority of the photon sails becoming damaged beyond repair. Due to the ship's main method of producing solar energy being almost entirely disabled, it appears that the ship is running mainly on low-level auxiliary power.

Automated radio communications received from SCP-XXXX show that despite the ship's damaged condition, the on-board autopilot AI is still fully functional. While it appears that the AI's main purpose is simply for the autopilot routines, it also has full control of the ships inner functions, such as the lighting systems, holographic displays, and mechanisms necessary for continued flight. The AI also appears to function as an entertainment device, able to enact a play on the ships auditorium.

As of discovery, no organic life has been detected on SCP-XXXX.

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Addendum I: Log of Recorded Transmissions

Various Foundation satetilles residing in the inner and outer Oort cloud have been able to hijack radio transmissions from SCP-XXXX. These transmissions appear to come from the onboard enertainment generated by the ship.

The Tip of the Iceberg

To a fifteen year old teenager roaming the old-school internet forums of our youth, there was only one cause that you were willing to die for. Your cause that your brothers and kinsmen fought vigorously to defend the honor of. The only thing that mattered in those glory days - the console wars. The late to mid-nineties were the culmination of our petty arguments - the biggest war yet, now in three dimensions. The Nintendo 64, the original Playstation, the Dreamcast… it felt like an entire new world opened to the public.

My own slice of forum life was not as easily impressed. Around 1998 to 2000, I was apart of a pretty tight-knit group of homebrew game creators and console modders - probably one of the earliest dedicated groups, if I had to guess. The internet back then wasn't as accessible as a place as it is now - you couldn't really just google a lot of these smaller sites - and ontop of that, the community already there was unnecessarily secretive. You had to pass an "entry exam" to even get access to any of the general forums, and the programs and tools actually needed to develop and run the homebrew content was only provided to those who stuck around and wanted to contribute. I was sort of an exception, I never really had the technical knack to mod my console without bricking it, and most of my small games I made were just ways for me to waste time. But I got along pretty well with the active userbase and moderation, so they kept me around and let me mess around with their projects time to time.

The big thing around the time I was active was the beginning of homebrewed content for the Nintendo 64. The console was around two years old by this time, and was notoriously difficult to create content for. Most of the dedicated modders wrote off trying to crack it and just went back to dicking around with the older generations, but not X.

Footnotes

1. Despite the clear mark, nobody besides the player currently using the card will notice.

2. For example, in a game of soft-hand Blackjack, if the player draws SCP-XXXX as their first card, they will immediately be dealt an ace and get a blackjack.

3. The majority of which are married men in the upper middle class.

4. Security personnel searched D-18526 multiple times before and during transfer.