Per 
Item #: SCP-XXXX-J
Object Class: Thaumiel
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX's sealed-off custody is occupied within a Class-D custodians locker inside SCP-XXXX-1, at Site-76s storage room 36b. Permission of a 5-hour time limit of SCP-XXXX For recreational purposes, by Level-3 Personnel or higher — with custodial D-Class only — that is to be allocated properly as well as supplied. Any and all surface locations cleaned with SCP-XXXX, in addition, are to be reported for mandated inspection of the area for research purposes. Lavatory transport of SCP-XXXX is out of the question to avoid the confusion of "uncanny valley" that may arise from it's introduction to similar environmental elements.
For further information on resource and testing developments, contact Super researcher Dr. Rose. If lost or taken during sudden breach, contact Dr. Annabethe Thorne.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a golden, lumpy piece of excrement under the current scientific, and the archaeological discovery of its origins, to determine versatility in the maintenance of anomalies in focus studies. As such, a solid lead in the basis for SCP-XXXX creation is derived from a Buddhist mantra: "No matter how much you wash a turd, it will not come clean.” on a box that it is currently held inside. On that note, an Anomalous "a 5-meter circumference of cleanliness" can be activated from when and where physical surfaces are made readily available. Words spoken in the mantra imprinted only effect the turd if the fecal matter itself is within the box. This must be in a precise manner by which the box must be shut and the turd within the inner margins of the box.
Any attempt to reach a similar outcome with a mantra written from an ulterior source — other than SCP-XXXXs' box — have been unsuccessful.
Addendum:
"Himalayan temple of the Ancients: , your sanctity, the light, has been untouched by impurities for ages." a tourist pamphlet had described. An on vacation SCP foundation in-deliberately dropped a drip of mayonnaise from his sand-which on the tiles of that rumor discovering the self-cleaning properties. Foundation intervention with further coaxing of reluctant monastery monks who claimed it "A work of the Buddhas will." the truth of the effects origination were uncovered. SCP-XXXX uncovered on the inner side of SCP-XXXX-1 was demonstrated to
Interviewed: Monk Tobias representative and crypt keeper of Master Tung Kwo temple and SCP-XXXX's area of discovery.
Interviewer: Dr. Rose and Dr. Thorne
Foreword: Dr. Rose presumes that there must be a secondary attribute to SCP-XXXXs effects, with authorization and proper supervision by Dr. Thorne, Dr. Rose was allowed to perform further questioning the day before amensitization of individuals involved.
<Begin Log, [optional time info]>
Monk Tobias: Namaste
Dr. Rose: The fuck did you just say?
Monk Tobias: I bow to the divine in you.
Dr. Rose: Exc-fucking-scuse- back the fuck up and bow to some one else you piece of—
(Is seen pulled off to the side by Dr. Thorne.)
Dr. Thorne: Dr. Rose, It's been not even 5 second in now, you said you would behave yourself. Keep your conduct professional.
Dr. Rose: Yeah sis, but it's thanks to these kinds of self rightous assholes sis that! Fucking asshole… thinking he's better than me cause he lives a virtuous life! Who does he think he's fooling!? PUSSY!
Dr. Thorne: You've come here high, haven't you?
Dr. Rose: …no.
Dr. Thorne: Hadn't I explained their customs?
Dr. Rose: They get to take hits of the fattests doobies of my lifes here!
Dr. Rose: Sis, they were practicing kungfu and tai chi down there, I had to join, where else do you see that other than movies?
Dr. Thorne: That doesn't mean give in to every primitive desire.
Dr. Rose: Oh yeah sure, drop myself to thier level of hypocrcy?…fine, Let's just get this over with…
Dr. Thorne: I apologize. My sister isn't accosted to these interactions, she's does this with everyone. Forgive her intrusions, please.
Dr. Rose: [murmur.] Why not go on ahead and just… tell them all about me… who gives a fuck.
Monk Tobias: That's… alright…? Is there an issue here?
Dr. Thorne: No. We've only come here on the grounds of the gathering of information, would you happen to have that for us? We'd much appreciate it.
Monk Tobias: We would however… the attempts before had been forceful, we are… no, not even under the threat of death will we give in. The full effect that you all claim it to still have, we will take to our rightful place in
Dr. Rose: …
Dr. Thorne: We have not come to antagonize others like our counterparts
Monk Tobias: I doubt that. That is what you all have said.
Dr. Thorne: Who you all? Who else has sought the artifact?
Monk Tobias: The auctioneers.
Dr. Thorne: Martial Carter and Dark? Of course, if we have come, there would be others, but we are not to thier similar standards, I assure you.
Monk Tobias: Can you really say that? They only saw the outerworth of the belonging, you do so in another manner, even if it is . It was superficial at best. Now you, you see not only the effect, but that as well. Still, that is all it is to you. If you can see no further worth, our lips remain sealed.
Dr. Thorne: We— we don't have time… please understand we want nothing the same as them!
Monk Tobias: I find that hard to believe.
Dr. Rose: …this is so stupid…
Monk Tobias: What?
Dr. Rose: I'll say it straight up, I'ma be real, your fucking dumb. Your pathetic, don't even dream of giving advice to people, ever again. By the way oh-so-wise-monk, those faithless counterparts are not who we are, if you knew anything you claim you did, you would know that!
Monk Tobias: Your — perhaps you would benefit from joining the monastery?
Dr. Thorne: I will now step back and take a long time to listen…
Dr. Rose: his isn't for us just be honest, this is for you! You have as much self-respect as the next guy! You're all about self-worth? Hah, yet you bow to people other than your self cause your convinced that you can't overlook the same shit you have inside! You are no better than that fucking turd! We all aren't, who do you think runs things around here!? Not me! Not a skip or God! Or a piece of fiction!
Monk Tobias: As I have… by helping you I can help myself! You are wrong!
Dr. Rose: I'll repeat myself. No, it isn't. Who I am Is not up to you. Religion is a lesson to use in life! Not a damn identity you stupid twat! Practice what you preach! You can't help others being an anchor to yourself! The only person you can change is yourself! Quit trying to control things!
Dr. Rose: And did I ask for rescuing? Your duty is out of self-righteous, insecurity. Thinking you can help everyone!? That sounds pretty arrogant to me. Guess you now know why we want that thing, now? Is that you still don't know!
Monk Tobias: Wha- Do not defy his patience! Blasphemy will not be tolerated—
Dr. Rose: When will you stop applying double standards?! Your indesicion is the biggest beytral to patience, oh look at that irony. How can we trust someone who doesn't know what they're talking about!? That's the same logic you stand by, don't you?
Monk Tobias: huh.. what NO!
Dr. Thorne:…
Dr. Rose: Exactly. No.
Monk Tobias: What do you mean?
Dr. Rose: Oh fuck off.
Monk Tobias: You have to know, you knew so much already!
Dr. Rose: You're an idiot. I didn't know anything, no one does, yet everybody is here for a reason, they only make the mistake of relying on others to find that particular piece for them, for them the disappointment you own now is yours alone. Your just the stupid one here who is fooling themselves. And if I got to that point, I wouldn't try to bless others if I were you, I'd seek thier guidance. Not thier validation.
Dr. Thorne: …
Monk Tobias: …alright…
Dr. Rose: Excuse me, but what the fuck?
Monk Tobias: … You have opened my eyes. Thank you. I am grateful.
Dr. Rose: Ugh. You disgust me. I can't stand here anymore!
Dr. Thorne: … little sister, you've done enough here. I really wouldn't either way.
Dr. Rose: Fine! I'm going to the bathroom. And I'll take a shit way better than yours!
Dr. Thorne: Go on ahead, then. Also that was information no one needed, remember what was spoken about verbal filters?
Dr. Rose: I don't care if were at a monastary — I can talk about my hentai if I want!!
[pause in audio.]
Monk Tobias: Is she…
Dr. Thorne: I am her special needs beneficiary. Now, what is the second mantra?
Monk Tobias: How did you—
Dr. Thorne: There is only one way XXXX can work, Tobias, and that is through verbal input, of course, it's only natural to assume this one would need one as well.
Monk Tobias: Fine then. I will say. But… we only ask of you one thing…
Dr. Thorne: What is it that you desire?
Monk Tobias: Our monastary has secured a high amount of debt to the ones you call the Manna charitable organzition, whom we thought were for the best intentions, we see now our error. If you truly are as what your moto says, we would like for you to protect us.
Dr. Thorne: If that is what you wish.
<End Log, [optional time info]>Closing Statement: Foreword should state, that after the recording was cut from audio, further effects were described as followed in paraphrase: An extra phrase if mentioned, will maintain the structural integrity of reality. In other words, the fecal matter is a Portable Reality Anchor in addition to a cleaning agent.~Dr. Thorne
I guess in the end, no matter how we seem… we're all pieces of shit. This monastry, as it turns out, was the origin of several martial arts and took out a few loans from Manna Charatible till they got too rich. Harrasment started for them to donate instead. Called in MTF Mu-3 for the M. C. D lead, The monks have agreed to work by our side and teach us secret methods to make our soldiers' combat techniques more fluid. ~Dr. Rose
What… is this crap?
~05-7
Yes! Exactly!
~Dr. Rose
