Item #: SCP-1471-A-96
Object Class: Euclid Keter Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1471-A-96 is to be housed with her host in a medium-sized humanoid containment suite at Site-17, furnished per their request. Requests for personal items and modifications to the suite are to be granted when reasonable, and living conditions at Site-17 are to be kept favorable enough that A-96 would not develop a strong desire to attempt to leave the facility, as A-96's "shift" ability makes forced containment extremely challenging.
A-96 is allowed to roam the facility when accompanied by at least 1 member of on-site personnel, contingent on good behavior. At all times, A-96 is to wear a tracking collar around her neck containing an explosive charge that can be detonated during any event that requires A-96 to be incapacitated. Once incapacitated, A-96 can be forced into a physically materialized state by using a form of Scranton Reality Anchor known as an “Obelisk Device”, then moved to a specialized containment cell1 at Site-17. When fatally wounded, A-96 will revert to a de-manifested state, and will usually re-manifest in close proximity to her host sometime within a 48-hour time frame if an Obelisk Device is not deployed.
Description: SCP-1471-A-96 is a sapient instance of SCP-1471-A, nicknamed "Yuki" by her host, a man named Takeo ██████. Her host2 downloaded MalO ver1.0.0 on March 30th, ████. Rather than fearing A-96, he befriended the anomaly, teaching her how to communicate and behave like a regular person. Having months of repeated interaction with her host, A-96 eventually gained the ability to physically materialize for short periods of time, although her host is able to experience continuous visualizations of her at all times.
Other individuals may experience visualizations of A-963 if she chooses to show herself, although she generally chooses to remain in a de-manifested state. A-96 claims that the motivation for this habit is due to laziness, however her host claims that the true motivation is due to A-96 having issues with low self esteem as a result of her frightening appearance. A-96's favorite activities seem to be watching movies and anime, as well as playing video games and baking desserts during her short periods of physical materialization. A-96 does seem to enjoy eating, although what happens to the food she consumes is not yet fully understood. On-site personnel should also be warned that when bored, A-96 is a trickster who enjoys getting a rise out of others via poorly timed jokes, lewd comments, and antagonistic remarks, and finds great enjoyment in stealing mundane objects when given an opportunity to do so.
A-96’s default form is a visually manifested state, in which she takes on qualities similar to a hologram. While A-96 is able to change to a physically materialized state, in which she takes on the attributes of a physical person, she must exert a significant amount of energy to do so, and is only able to remain in the form for approximately 45 minutes before returning to a visually manifested or completely de-manifested state to rest. Further study has revealed that while A-96 is in a visually manifested state, a small fraction of her body's atoms are still physically materialized, but the atoms are arranged in a gaseous state held together via an electromagnetic field, rather than being arranged in a solid state.
A-96 possesses several abilities that are common among instances of SCP-1471-A, although the degree to which each instance can utilize specific abilities varies. While not particularly fast or strong, A-96 has proven to be extremely adept at "shifting", the process by which instances of 1471-A teleport themselves and others to different locations and dimensions, primarily used as a method to follow their hosts. In addition to shifting herself and others, A-96 also has the ability to store previously collected objects in a pocket dimension and shift them back into our own, usually pulling the items from the pockets of her clothing for the sake of showmanship. However, A-96 will be too weak to interact with these objects unless she is in a physically materialized state.
Upon recovering from a fatal wound that would cause A-96 to completely de-manifest, she will later re-manifest usually wearing a black robe as her default attire, or the gray undershirt and orange pants of her Foundation-issued uniform. Following her initial containment and study, Foundation personnel have modified A-96's code so that a specialized containment collar will also manifest in addition to her chosen attire, and will always change it's physical properties to match whatever state in which A-96 is currently manifested.
Addendum 01: Primary Logs
Date: April 20th, 20██
Interviewer: Dr. Pamela Stuart, Site-17
Interviewee: Takeo ██████
Subject: SCP-1471-A
Notes: The following interview takes place between Dr. Stuart and a civilian in custody, who's name was later revealed to be Takeo ██████. The individual was caught wandering in restricted areas of Site-17. Security footage revealed was accompanied by an instance of SCP-1471-A, which was believed to have helped the subject locate and steal a Level 5 Access Card.
[BEGIN LOG]
Dr. Stuart: Well, let's get started. (Shuffles papers) First, tell me your name.
Takeo: (Silence)
Dr. Stuart: You know, this will all be easier if you cooperate.
Takeo: Yuki told me not to talk to you.
Dr. Stuart: Yuki can't hurt you here.
Takeo: She's not the one I'm worried about.
Dr. Stuart: I see. Rest assured, as long as you're not deemed a threat, we aren't going to hurt you. We just have some questions about the events that lead to your capture.
Takeo: (Silence)
Dr. Stuart: The security footage showed you were accompanied by an… anomaly. Is that creature what you call "Yuki"?
Takeo: (Silence)
Dr. Stuart: This isn't the first time I've seen an instance of 1471-A. Well, it is the first time I've seen one manifest like that before.
Takeo: Is that what you people call them?
Dr. Stuart: (Pauses) What would you call it?
Takeo: She didn't have a name when I met her. She told me I could choose.
Dr. Stuart: It can talk?
Takeo: She. Not it.
Dr. Stuart: My apologies. But, please, answer the question.
Takeo: She couldn't talk until I taught her to. At first all she could do was gesture. I kept talking to her for a few months, eventually she talked back.
Dr. Stuart: You say it took a few months. How long ago did you download the app?
Takeo: …It's been what, like, 2 years ago? I was just downloading random apps because I was excited about getting my new phone, MalO happened to be one of them. (Pauses) At first I thought it was glitched since the app didn't show up in my phone, but eventually I started getting pictures of Yuki text to me, and then I started seeing her in real life. That scared me a lot at first, but I got over it once I realized what was going on. She didn't seem to want to hurt me, so I figured I'd be her friend.
Dr. Stuart: Do you see her right now?
Takeo: No. I have no idea where she is right now. She disappeared when security caught us. Coward.
Dr. Stuart: Right. Let's talk about that.
Takeo: Why? I assume you watched all the camera footage before talking to me.
Dr. Stuart: Yes, but I want to hear the story in your own words. How did you get the keycard?
Takeo: Yuki gave it to me.
Dr. Stuart: (Surprised) She gave it to you? Like, physically handed it to you?
Takeo: Yeah. I guess she shifted here earlier to steal it. She's a bit of a klepto sometimes.
Dr. Stuart: (Pauses) I have never seen a MalO that could physically materialize. Has she always been able to do that?
Takeo: No. It took a long time.
Dr. Stuart: How long?
Takeo: At least a year.
Dr. Stuart: And now she can do it at any time?
Takeo: No. She says it takes a lot of effort. I've never seen her do it for longer than an hour before. At first she could only do it for a few minutes, over time she's gotten better at it.
Dr. Stuart: And you mentioned she can "shift"?
Takeo: Yeah, like teleporting. She can teleport me too, but she says that takes a lot of effort as well. She always gets tired and eats a lot of food afterwards.
Dr. Stuart: I didn't know MalOs even could eat.
Takeo: She seems more developed than the other ones.
Dr. Stuart: (Pauses) Have you met any others?
Takeo: No. But she's told me about them. I guess they're social and shift around to visit each other. She claims that we encounter them in public occasionally, but I've never been able to see any of them myself.
Dr. Stuart: Is that how she found out about this facility? Did other MalOs tell her about it?
Takeo: I guess.
Dr. Stuart: (Pauses) So, why did you come here?
Takeo: Honestly, I have no idea. She didn't tell me where we were going, just that she was hungry.
Dr. Stuart: I see. (Shuffles papers) Thank you. I think we're done for today.
Takeo: What happens to me now?
Dr. Stuart: Don't worry, appropriate accommodations will be made for you to stay on site. We'd like to see if we can ge-
Dr. Stuart is interrupted by a small pocket of black smoke that briefly appears beside Takeo. SCP-1471-A-96, which will now be referred to as A-96, shifts out of the smoke, the smoke then disappears. She holds a large sized pizza box, later discovered to be SCP-458, which was tragically stolen from the staff canteen of Site-17.
A-96: Well I got what I came for.
Dr. Stuart gasps and stands up from her chair, startled by A-96's appearance. She runs out the door of the interview room, and an alarm sounds. 5 on-site security officers burst into the room, guns drawn and pointing their weapons at A-96. While not all the events of their interaction were documented by the recording devices of the interview room, details have been transcribed by using footage recorded from the security team's body cams. The security team is made up of S17-1 Cap, S17-2, S17-3, and S17-4.
S17-4: Don't move!
A-96 waves to the security officers.
S17-1 Cap: (To his radio) Command, we ha-
He pauses as the entire room fills with black smoke. Takeo, A-96, and the security team shift to an alternate dimension. They arrive in a dark cave, shrouded in fog. The security team looks around, confused, then turn their attention to a loud shrieking coming from a dark passage of the cave ahead of them. With a small pocket of black smoke, A-96 shifts Takeo and herself back to their own dimension.
Black sludge flows from the passage as an octopus-like creature rushes towards the security team. With large, pointed teeth, countless eyes, and black scales, it flails at the security team with spiked tentacles.
S17-3: Shit!
(Gunshots)
One tentacle slashes at S17-4 across his chest, knocking him down, as another grabs S17-2's leg and pulls him towards it's open mouth. Suddenly, a small pocket of black smoke appears as A-96 shifts back into the cave. A large pocket of black smoke surrounds the security team as they all shift back to Site-17.
A-96: (To Takeo) I'm not that mean.
With another small pocket of black smoke, A-96 shifts Takeo and herself out of the interview room of Site-17. Shaken, but all in one piece, the security team breathes a sigh of relief knowing they were spared a gruesome fate. They also notice a hand-written note left behind on the table of the interview room.
Note From A-96: "If you want another interview, bring less guns. To summon me, you must perform an elaborate ritual for my amusement. Place a plate of marshmallows in the center of the interview table, then have 4 of your top researchers perform an interpretive dance to the song Africa by Toto. More detailed instructions are on the back of this note. I patiently await your response.” -Yuki (SCP-1471-A-96, apparently)
[END LOG]
Researcher's Notes: "Not it!" -Dr. Stuart
Addendum 01: Reclassification of SCP-1471 to Keter class is currently under consideration.
FROM: Site-17 Director Dr. Jack Bright
TO: Dr. Pamela Stuart
SUBJECT: Discontinuation of Procedure 1471-A-96-01
Pam,
I have no choice but to discontinue this bizarre never-ending procedure you have requested, which you insist will summon the entity known as SCP-1471-A-96. Your team has made nearly 40 attempts to summon the anomaly, and each time it just leaves a note with more ridiculous demands. I am getting too many inquiries, your team is growing tired, and we do not have the resources to continue the project.
Eventually, you have to accept that A-96 is not your friend, it is just trying to waste our time. Even if we had the resources to continue, I highly doubt it would ever actually appear. We've been had.
-Jack
Date: April 21st - July 2nd, 20██
Subject: Procedure SCP-1471-A-96-01
Notes: Extensive attempts at the ritual to summon SCP-1471-A-96 have been tried and failed. As per their instructions, an interview table with 2 sets of chairs is to be set up in a large high school gymnasium. 1 plate of marshmallows, 1 wine glass filled with cold chocolate almond milk, and 1 Panasonic RX 5010 Boombox is to be placed on the interview table. The boombox is to play the song Africa by Toto, while 4 researchers are to perform an hour long interpretive dance routine. Dr. Scott, Dr. Malone, Dr. Bernard, and Dr. Hannon are the researchers who have been chosen to perform the procedure. If done successfully, SCP-1471-A-96 claims they will appear for an interview. Only one attempt of the procedure may be attempted per day, as A-96 claims to "have, like, a lot of stuff going on right now" and wouldn't have time to watch multiple rituals per day. So far, no attempts at the ritual have been successful, although the food and beverage on the table will usually be consumed, as well as a note left behind which provides further instructions. An extensive list of notable ritual attempts and their resulting notes have been documented.
[BEGIN LOG]
Ritual Attempt #: 001
Note: "That was pretty great. But what's with these tiny marshmallows? I'm a big girl, I want big girl marshmallows. Try again." -YukiRitual Attempt #: 002
Note: "I feel like you're not dancing enthusiastically enough. Really put your hearts into it, guys." -Yuki
Researcher's Note: "Let's keep trying until we get this right." -Dr. StuartRitual Attempt #: 003
Note: "You know what goes great with marshmallows? Hot chocolate. Get to it." -YukiRitual Attempt #: 004
Note: "WOW! Have none of you ever made hot chocolate before? I thought I was worth more than hot water in a dixie cup with chocolate powder mixed in. I wrote a recipe on the back of this note. Use it." -Yuki[SUPERFLUOUS LOGS REDACTED]
Ritual Attempt #: 007
Note: "Oh! Sorry! I forgot we were doing this today. Let's try again on Tuesday." -Yuki
Researcher's Note: "Are you kidding me!?" -Dr. BernardRitual Attempt #: 008
Note: "Sorry I couldn't make it again. I forgot that my friend's Quinceanera was today." -YukiRitual Attempt #: 009
Note: "I'm kinda getting bored of this song, aren't you? Let's try a different one." -Yuki
Researcher's Note: "Fine with me." -Dr. Stuart[SUPERFLUOUS LOGS REDACTED]
Ritual Attempt #: 012
Note: "Sorry, couldn't make it to the interview because I got a bad case of hiccups today." -YukiRitual Attempt #: 013
Note: "We should do this outside in the park tomorrow instead, I wanna work on my tan." -YukiRitual Attempt #: 014
Note: "Couldn't make it today, recovering from a terrible sunburn. Rituals will resume inside from now on. " -Yuki[SUPERFLUOUS LOGS REDACTED]
Ritual Attempt #: 017
Note: "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I'm tired of eating marshmallows. Tomorrow, bring cookies instead. Double chocolate chip macadamia nut. They gotta be homemade too, make them with love. I can tell the difference." -Yuki
Researcher's Note: "I'll take care of it, I'm great at baking. You all just go home and rest." -Dr. StuartRitual Attempt #: 018
Note: "Those cookies tasted like shit. Just bring store-bought tomorrow. Sausalito are fine." -Yuki
Researcher's Note: "Wow. That's just mean." -Dr. StuartRitual Attempt #: 019
Note: "Cookies don't really pair well with hot chocolate. Let's switch to vanilla almond milk." -YukiRitual Attempt #: 020
Note: "Couldn't come to the interview today because it's a holiday. Happy Beltane!" -Yuki
Researcher's Note: "She left behind a cake for us. Further testing revealed the cake was not poisoned, and was also quite delicious." -Dr. Stuart[SUPERFLUOUS LOGS REDACTED]
Ritual Attempt #: 023
Note: "Let's try something else for a change. Karaoke? Bring a karaoke machine tomorrow and each of you sing your favorite song." -YukiRitual Attempt #: 024
Note: "I don't know what's worse, your dancing or your singing. Your singing voices are so bad they should be classified as cognitohazards. Come back tomorrow and be ready to dance. I gotta go clean the blood out of my ears." -Yuki[SUPERFLUOUS LOGS REDACTED]
Ritual Attempt #: 028
Note: "Sorry, can't make it to the interview again. The weather is nice so me and Takeo are going to the park today." -YukiRitual Attempt #: 029
Note:
Researcher's Note: "A-96 didn't leave a note or take her food today. Weird." -Dr. StuartRitual Attempt #: 030
Note:
Researcher's Note: "Nothing again. I hope she hasn't given up on us." -Dr. StuartRitual Attempt #: 031
Note: "Sorry I've been away. I sprained my ankle while chasing a beaver. I'm doing better now, rituals can resume tomorrow." -Yuki[SUPERFLUOUS LOGS REDACTED]
[END LOG]
Addendum 01: All attempts at Procedure 1471-A-96-01 are to be discontinued until further notice.
Date: July 5th, 20██
Interviewer: Dr. Pamela Stuart, Site-17
Interviewee: SCP-1471-A-96
Subject: SCP-1471-A-96, Takeo ██████
Notes: The following interview takes place between Dr. Stuart and an instance of SCP-1471-A known as SCP-1471-A-96, which refers to itself as Yuki. After 2 months of failed attempts to summon the instance via it's previous instructions, we believed the instance would not appear. Several days after the decision was made to discontinue the summoning procedure, a note was left in Dr. Stuart's office by A-96 requesting an interview.
[BEGIN LOG]
Dr. Stuart: I'll be honest. I really was not expecting you to come here today.
A-96: The amount of security outside says otherwise.
Dr. Stuart: Well, (Pauses) …it never hurts to be too cautious.
A-96: Did you bring what I asked for?
Dr. Stuart: Yes, of course. We couldn't pass up an opportunity like this. But, how do I know you can be trusted to complete your end of the deal?
A-96: I am a woman of honor! Plus I want to have a healthy relationship with the Foundation, for me and my host's sake. I will do this interview and come back for your tests, I promise. You can even hold onto my skull as collateral.
A-96 removes her skull from her shoulders, a small plume of black smoke flickers above her neck where the skull previously rested. The skull is not animated during this time, her white eyes and black tongue are not visible within the skull. She gestures to hand the skull to Dr. Stuart.
Dr. Stuart: Th-That won't be necessary.
Dr. Stuart places a clear plastic bottle containing a single red pill, later revealed to be a pill taken from SCP-500, onto the table. The skull re-animates to talk, still held by A-96. Her white eyes and black tongue are once again visible within the skull.
A-96: Alrighty then.
A-96 places the skull back onto her shoulders. She then takes the small bottle and places it into the right side pocket of her robe.
Dr. Stuart: You know, that's only the 3rd weirdest thing I've seen today.
A-96: I assume you didn't just want me to come here for small talk.
Dr. Stuart: Right. Let's get started.
(Shuffles papers)
Dr. Stuart: I guess the main question I have is- why? After all this time, why did you want an interview? What use could you have for that pill?
A-96: I'll be honest with you. I originally wasn't planning on coming in for an interview. All that ritual stuff was a joke, I just wanted to see a bunch of doctors embarrassing themselves for my entertainment. It was funny for awhile, but eventually you guys caught onto it and stopped. Whatever, it was fun while it lasted. (Hesitates) But, recently I was talking to my friend Kenny and he told me about how badly he needed one of those pills.
Dr. Stuart: And this friend of yours, are they another instance of SCP-1471-A?
A-96: Yeah, he is. Or, he was.
Dr. Stuart: What do you mean?
A-96: His host is no longer with us. Ha heart attack or something, or at least that's what I heard through the grapevine. He was actually an employee of your Foundation but on leave , not that it matters now. The dude was in bad shape for awhile, always stressed out, never ate right, etc.
(It should be noted that 2 weeks ago, a researcher from Site-15 named Dr. Stanley [REDACTED] died at home in his sleep from a ST Segment Elevation Myocardial Infarction (STEMI). An investigation is ongoing to determine if this is the host that SCP-1471-A-96 was referring to.)
Dr. Stuart: After their host died, what happened to your friend?
A-96: He died too. MalOs are just their host's shadow. We need their energy to exist. Kenny's host died, Kenny couldn't eat anymore. It's a terrible way to go.
Dr. Stuart: I'm sorry for your loss. I know how hard that can be to go through. I've recently lost my sister.
A-96: Oof.
Dr. Stuart: (Silence)
A-96: …Anyway, he was more like an acquaintance than a close friend. Still, it's scary knowing the same thing could happen to any of us.
Dr. Stuart: So that is the reason you decided to negotiate with us?
A-96: Yeah. I figure if I have one of those Senzu Beans, if Takeo gets deathly ill then we'll have a second chance.
Dr. Stuart: Senzu Beans?
A-96: It's a… never mind. One of those magic healing pills you guys got.
Dr. Stuart: Ah, I see. Good plan. Are you close with your host? Or are you just concerned for your own safety?
A-96: Of course we're close! We're best friends! We do everything together!
Dr. Stuart: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply-
A-96: One of a MalO's most important goals is to protect their host! Why do you think I made it so hard for you guys to find him?
Dr. Stuart: Are you referring to the memetic agents around your host?
A-96: Yeah! Those glyphs are pretty clever, if I do say so myself. As soon as anyone approaches Takeo with ill-intent they'll forget whatever they were planning to do. I figure that's why you guys keep failing to bring him in.
Dr. Stuart: (Pauses) I'm not privy to the details of MTF missions. But, based on what you've said, I'd assume so.
A-96: Right, right. Anything else?
Dr. Stuart: Your host, Takeo? Tell me about him.
A-96: Be more specific.
Dr. Stuart: How long have you known him?
A-96: My whole life I guess, and even before that. I've been alive in this form for like 2 years or so.
Dr. Stuart: You knew him before you were alive? What do you mean by that?
A-96: Like, his memories, I mean. I guess I should back up a bit. When he downloaded the app and I was "born", I started out having some of his memories. It was all a bit blurry though, I couldn't even remember how to talk or how to eat. The only thing I knew how to do was shift, and even then, I couldn't do it well.
Dr. Stuart: Do you remember anything about yourself or the app from before your host downloaded it? Such as who may have created it?
A-96: No. Like I said, I had no idea who I was or what was going on when I was born. I just felt very weak and disoriented, and I had a very strong desire to be around Takeo at all times.
Dr. Stuart: So you have no other memories of your own from before that?
A-96: No. None at all.
Dr. Stuart: Ah. I see.
A-96: Any other questions, detective?
Dr. Stuart: No, (Shuffles papers) I believe that will be all for today.
A-96: Nothing else you guys wanted?
Dr. Stuart: Well, there is one more thing. I guess you can see this as another test. My fellow researchers believe your containment would be impossible. What, with your teleportation and invisibility and such.
A-96: I believe that is accurate, yes.
Dr. Stuart: Right. (Pauses) I'd like to test that.
A-96: Seriously?
Suddenly, the doors to the interview room are kicked open. 4 members of MTF Mu-13 ("Ghostbusters") rush into the room. With a small pocket of black smoke, A-96 disappears.
Mu-13 Beta: Damn, she's quick.
Mu-13 Lead: Doesn't matter. Gamma, get that ordnance up.
Mu-13 Gamma: Roger that.
Mu-13 Gamma places a small metallic obelisk, about 20cm in length, onto the interview table. The top begins to flash and emit a pulses of light throughout the room like a strobe light, gradually picking up speed until the gaps of time between the flashes is no longer detectable. In the back corner of the room, A-96 can be seen watching the group while eating a bag of Mister Bee brand Sour Cream & Onion flavored potato chips. Mu-13 Delta slowly approaches A-96, stopping about 1 meter in front of her. They stare at each other for a moment as the room falls silence.
Mu-13 Delta: Boo.
A-96 drops the bag of potato chips. With a quick burst of black smoke, she shifts out of the interview room.
[END LOG]
Researcher's Notes: Although the subject escaped, the trial test of the Obelisk Device proved to be a huge success! With more tests and refinements, this device could become an extremely important resource in the capturing and containment of intangible anomalies. Next time we encounter SCP-1471-A-96, we'll be ready!
FROM: Site-17 Director Dr. Jack Bright
TO: All On-Site Personnel
SUBJECT: Testing on SCP-1471-A-96
Attention all personnel,
I have received many messages of your concerns with our planned experiments involving SCP-1471-A-96. I assure you all, there is nothing to fear. I have total confidence in our on-site security teams and the proper planning of on-site personnel. In the extremely unlikely circumstance that A-96 does attempt to breach containment, Mobile Task Force Unit Mu-13 is on standby, and my subordinates have assured me that the Obelisk Device is 100% effective in containing intangible anomalies. For additional security, A-96 and it's host are to be contained and studied separately. If you still have any further concerns, please discuss them with your individual team lead.
-Director Jack Bright
Date: July 5th, 20██ - July 12th, 20██
Subject: SCP-1471-A-96 Experiment Log
Notes: SCP-1471-A-96's host has revealed to be an average person with no anomalous properties or abilities whatsoever. As a result, their experiment logs did not have any abnormal results and were all consistent with what would be expected to happen from a regular person. Their experiment logs have been deemed superfluous, and as a result have been redacted from this report. Due to A-96's past history of stealing an SCP object from Site-17, the properties of the anomalous items used in these tests will not be accurately explained to the test subject, so that it would have less of a desire to steal them.
Note To All Researchers: All researchers working with SCP-1471-A-96 are encouraged to append their results to this experiment log in the following format:
Test #:
SCP Involved: (Only when applicable.)
Procedure: (As detailed description of the experiment being performed.)
Results: (Only applicable if the procedure is not tested under multiple of SCP-1471-A-96's physical states.)
Results 01: (The results of the procedure when SCP-1471-A-96 is visually manifested.)
Results 02: (The results of the procedure when SCP-1471-A-96 is physically materialized.)
Notes: (Thoughts and conclusions after studying the results of the procedure.)
[BEGIN LOG]
Test #: 001
Procedure: A Full-Body CT Scan of SCP-1471-A-96 was taken to determine their physiology.
Results 01: The scan was blank. Radiologists performed 2 additional scans, as well as a scan of one of the researchers to verify that the machine was working properly.
Results 02: A detailed scan of SCP-1471-A-96's internal body structure was successfully captured.
Notes: Astonishingly, SCP-1471-A-96's internal physiology appears to be nearly identical to the anatomy of an average adult human female. With the exception of it's head, the only difference between it and a human seems the addition of a tail, canine-like paw feet, and a layer of short black fur covering it's skin.Test #: 002
Procedure: SCP-1471-A-96 is to wear a blindfold so they cannot react to visual stimuli. It is to extend it's arm in front of itself, palm up. A single Kraft brand Jumbo sized Marshmallow is to be dropped into their hand.
Results 01: The marshmallow passed through the test subject's hand with no resistance. Detailed examination of video footage of the test showed that while passing through the test subject's hand, the marshmallow has a slight drop in speed of about 10%, then regained it's original momentum upon exiting the underside of the test subject's hand.
Results 02: The marshmallow impacted the test subject, landing to rest in the palm of their hand.
Notes: Upon discovering that the object it caught was a marshmallow, SCP-1471-A-96 reacted with extreme excitement and quickly consumed the marshmallow.Test #: 003
Procedure: A single Kraft brand Jumbo sized Marshmallow has been placed on a table in front of SCP-1471-A-96, they are asked to pick it up.
Results 01: The test subject successfully picked up the marshmallow.
Results 02: The test subject successfully picked up the marshmallow.
Notes: After both tests, SCP-1471-A-96 consumed the marshmallow. I am concerned that they may not have followed our instructions and simply chose to materialize during the 1st test so that they could eat the marshmallow. The procedure will be replicated with a more mundane object.Test #: 004
Procedure: A single ceramic "World's Best Dad" coffee mug taken from Dr. Scott's office is placed on a table in front of SCP-1471-A-96, they are asked to move it. The mug has been placed inside of a clear glass box so we can see whether the test subject's body is visually manifested or physically materialized.
Results 01: The test subject's arm passed through the box, then proceeded to describe the texture of the mug. They grabbed the mug but struggled to move it, complaining that it felt very heavy. Eventually, they did manage to use their hand to successfully push the mug 1cm to the left. Their arm remained phased through at least 1 wall of the box during the entire duration of the test.
Results 02: The test subject's arm and hand were blocked by the walls of the box. Frustrated, they forcefully pushed the box and mug off of the table, causing both objects to fall to the ground and shatter.
Notes: It appears that even while not physically materialized, SCP-1471-A-96 can still touch and interact with physical objects if they desire, but is extremely weak and cannot interact with anything heavier than approximately 1 ounce. It is unknown if this ability is some form of telekinesis or if the test subject is physically materializing small sections of their body while the rest remains only visually manifested. Details for an updated experiment are still under debate.Test #: 005
SCP Involved: SCP-426
Procedure: I am placed on a table in front of the test subject, they are told that I will materialize any food item that they verbally request, so long as they compliment me on my appearance first.
Results 01: The test subject complimented me and asked me to produce 2 Pillsbury brand Toaster Strudels, neither of which were produced. During the procedure, the test subject did not refer to me in the first person.
Results 02: The test subject complimented me and asked me to produce 2 Pillsbury brand Toaster Strudels, neither of which were produced. During the procedure, the test subject did refer to me in the first person. The test subject did not seem to notice this effect, instead being more preoccupied with their failed attempts at getting their Toaster Strudels.
Notes: It appears that anomalous objects do not affect SCP-1471-A-96 unless it is physically materialized. More tests will be needed to confirm this hypothesis.Test #: 006
SCP Involved: SCP-1230
Procedure: SCP-1230 is placed on a table in front of the test subject, they are asked to open it. They are told that the book will produce cooking recipes for whatever food their taste buds would most desire.
Results 01: The test subject struggled but did eventually manage to open the book. However, the pages remained blank. The test subject was disappointed, stating that they were "hoping to get some new baking recipes".
Results 02: The test subject opened the book, it displayed the phrase "A hero is born" on the first page viewed. The test subject remained disappointed by the lack of baking recipes, as well as slightly confused by the phrase displayed. They de-materialized and remained only visually manifested over the next 18 hours, and did not report any unusual dreams the following day.
Notes: I confidently believe that anomalous objects do not affect SCP-1471-A-96 unless it is physically materialized.Test #: 007
SCP Involved: SCP-005
Procedure: SCP-005 and 1 locked padlock is placed on a table in front of the test subject, they are asked to attempt to open the padlock using the key. They are told that it is an ordinary key and padlock, and that we are still just trying to test the differences in the affects they have on various objects while visually manifested vs physically materialized.
Results 01: The test subject struggled to lift the key but was eventually successful at inserting it into the padlock. The subject then attempted to turn the key to unlock the padlock, but was unsuccessful. The test subject was confused, claiming that the problem must be with the padlock rather than it's manifestation ability, as turning the key should take significantly less effort than picking it up.
Results 02: The test subject attempted to use the key to unlock the padlock, and was successful at unlocking it. The test subject remained confused, stating that it may not understand it's own abilities as well as it previously thought.
Notes: It appears that SCP-1471-A-96 is unable to interact with an anomalous object's properties unless it is physically materialized. More tests will be needed to confirm this hypothesis.Test #: 008
SCP Involved: SCP-216
Procedure: SCP-216 is placed on a table in front of the test subject, they are told the combination to chamber 8585821 and asked to open it.
Results 01: The test subject entered the combination and attempted to open the door to chamber 8585821, but the handle remained stuck in it's locked position. The test subject believed that the safe must simply be broken, or that the handle was too stiff for them to be strong enough to move.
Results 02: The test subject entered the combination and successfully opened the door to chamber 8585821, which contained 78 apple seeds. The test subject believed that the safe produces apple seeds and seemed to be disappointed, the subject claimed that they had hoped the safe would open to an infinite void.
Notes: I confidently believe that SCP-1471-A-96 is unable to interact with an anomalous object's properties unless it is physically materialized.Test #: 009
SCP Involved: SCP-1837
Procedure: A bowl of liquid collected from SCP-1837 is placed on a table in front of the test subject, they are asked to touch the fluid and describe it's texture. The subject is told that the fluid is a type of liquid that will make them experience vivid hallucinations.
Results 01: The test subject immersed their hand in the bowl of fluid, the fluid displaced itself around their hand. The test subject was confused, claiming that it hasn't had any affect, and just felt like ordinary water.
Results 02: The test subject immersed their hand in the bowl of fluid, the fluid displaced itself around their hand. The test subject immediately expressed discomfort and pulled their hand out out of the liquid.
Notes: It appears that SCP-1471-A-96 is unable to perceive the anomalous properties of objects produced by anomalies unless it is physically materialized. More tests will be needed to confirm this hypothesis.Test #: 010
SCP Involved: SCP-646
Procedure: A bowl of mucus scraped from SCP-646 is placed on a table in front of the test subject, they are asked to touch the fluid and describe it's texture. The subject is told that the fluid is a type of paint that changes color when exposed to different varieties of music.
Results 01: The test subject immersed their hand in the bowl of fluid, the fluid displaced itself around their hand. The test subject was disgusted, claiming that the fluid felt “gross and slimy” before requesting a towel.
Results 02: The test subject immersed their hand in the bowl of fluid, the fluid displaced itself around their hand. The test subject was disgusted yet again, claiming that the fluid felt “just gross as last time” before then refusing to do any more tests involving touching of anomalous fluids.
Notes: It appears that SCP-1471-A-96 does not like touching slimy substances.Note To All Researchers: The mucus collected from SCP-646 doesn't have any anomalous properties. What was the point of this test?
Test #: 011
SCP Involved: SCP-504
Procedure: One mature SCP-504 tomato is placed on a table behind a thick sheet of bulletproof plexiglass in front of the test subject. They are told that the tomato will repeat in German any joke stated to it, and is asked to tell the tomato whatever jokes they can come up with.
Results 01: The test subject stated "What's a cat's favorite food? Nyan bread" to the tomato. Complete silence, no movement detected from the tomato.
Results 02: The test subject stated "What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef" to the tomato. After a brief delay, the tomato accelerated to a speed of over 3500 km/h (2174 mph) towards the test subject, causing a supersonic blast and punching a hole through the plexiglass. The resulting impact completely obliterated the test subject's skull, fragments of which were later found imbedded into the walls and ceiling of the test chamber. The test subject then began shouting expletives at the medical personnel who came to her aid, before using her shift ability to disappear.Note To All Researchers: Whoever organized this experiment is getting a serious reprimanding! We're lucky the test subject's skull is only decorative, otherwise she could have been killed!
Testing was temporary put on hiatus due to SCP-1471-A-96's disappearance. They reappeared the following day, wearing a new skull that looked identical to their old one. When asked where the skull came from, SCP-1471-A-96 claimed that it “grew back” during their absence.
Test #: 012
SCP Involved: SCP-871
Procedure: A single instance of SCP-871, in the form of a small chocolate cake, is placed on a table in front of SCP-1471-A-96. They are told that the cake will temporarily give them the ability to understand French but immediately forget anything they had just read or heard in the language. They wear a blindfold so they cannot learn the object's true nature, and are asked to eat the cake so that no crumbs remain.
Results 01: The test subject happily complied, consuming the cake in 1 large bite. Instantaneously, the cake reappeared on the table in front of the test subject.
Results 02: The test subject happily complied, consuming the cake in 1 large bite. This time, the cake did not reappear on the table in front of the test subject. They then de-materialized and remained only visually manifested over the next 28 hours, during which time the cake did eventually reappear.
Notes: The outcome was to be expected. However, I'm now quite curious to understand what physical processes may take place inside of SCP-1471-A-96's digestive system.Test #: 013
Procedure: While physically materialized, SCP-1471-A-96 is to swallow a single Pepperidge Farm brand Sausalito cookie, along with a small wireless camera wrapped in a slice of cheese which is to transmit live video footage to a computer monitor. The test subject is then to de-materialize to it's visually manifested form, then re-materialize to it's physically materialized form.
Results: After swallowing the camera, the inside of the test subject's esophagus then stomach could be seen on the monitor, and their stomach contents appeared to contain chewed up pieces of cookie. When the test subject de-materialized to it's visually manifested state, the camera immediately dropped through the test subject and fell to the floor. However, the chewed up pieces of cookie and slice of cheese did not fall through the test subject. When the test subject re-materialized back to it's physically materialized form, they were given another camera wrapped in cheese to swallow, as the previous camera no longer functioned. Upon swallowing the camera, the live video feed of their stomach contents no longer showed any pieces of the cookie.
Notes: I believe that upon de-materilizing, any organic material inside of SCP-1471-A-96 will be immediately converted into energy via some unknown process. So far every ceramic plate, glass cup, and aluminum can that we've fed to the test subject has simply fallen out of them after de-materilizing, meanwhile all organic food and beverages seem to disappear.Note To All Researchers: Please stop feeding the test subject inorganic materials to see what happens! I think we have more than enough data to understand the outcome. The canteen is running out of utensils.
Test #: 014
SCP Involved: SCP-031
Procedure: SCP-031 is positioned behind a thick sheet of bulletproof plexiglass in front of the test subject. They are not informed of the organism's abilities, and is asked to try to have a conversation with the organism.
Results 01: The test subject attempted to speak to the organism, but seemed unsettled, as the organism did not seem to respond or react to the test subject in any way.
Results 02: The test subject believed that the organism had been removed from the room, then began to have a conversation with the organism. Details of the conversation lead researchers to believe that the test subject had perceived the organism as it's host, Takeo ██████.
Notes: It appears that the affects of anomalous organisms do not affect SCP-1471-A-96 unless it is physically materialized. More tests will be needed to confirm this hypothesis. I believe it would also be worthwhile for interviewers to further investigate the nature of the test subject's relationship towards it's host. If we plan to contain the test subject permanently, we might be able to use their relationship to our advantage.Test #: 015
SCP Involved: SCP-347
Procedure: SCP-347 is to sit in a chair opposite the table where SCP-1471-A-96 is seated. The test subject is told that the SCP involved is simply a floating set of clothing which could change appearance when requested.
Results 01: The test subject was confused by the circumstances of the procedure, claiming to see a regular human female seated in front of them. Claudia expressed great joy at the realization, and conversed with the test subject for several hours, and her invisibility was not mentioned during the conversation. The main topic of their conversation seemed to be their mutually shared kleptomania.
Results 02: The test subject was unable to see SCP-347, but quickly realized the circumstances of the situation. To Claudia's delight, the test subject revealed that it could become invisible as well. They conversed for several more hours before researchers grew impatient and ended the test.
Notes: It appears that the affects of anomalous entities do not affect SCP-1471-A-96 unless it is physically materialized. More tests will be needed to confirm this hypothesis. In the days following the procedure, SCP-347 has made several requests to speak with SCP-1471-A-96 again, all of which were denied.Test #: 016
SCP Involved: SCP-073
Procedure: SCP-073 is to stand approximately 1 meter in front of SCP-1471-A-96. The test subject is then to attempt to slap Cain, and has been told that slapping him will cause him to change colors. Cain has been fully informed of the experiment, and seemed amused when told the details of the procedure.
Results 01: The test subject slapped Cain across his cheek, there was no reaction. Damage was not received by Cain, nor was reflected back to the test subject. The test subject then attempted several more slaps, all of which resulted in the same outcome.
Results 02: The test subject once again slapped Cain across his cheek. The damage reflected back to the test subject, startling it. Cain seemed very entertained by the reaction, encouraging the test subject to attempt several more slaps, all of which resulted in the same outcome.
Notes: I confidently believe that the affects of anomalous entities do not affect SCP-1471-A-96 unless it is physically materialized. SCP-073 has enthusiastically volunteered to help with all future tests involving SCP-1471-A-96.Test #: 017
SCP Involved: SCP-████, SCP-216
Procedure: SCP-████ is to sit in a chair opposite the table where SCP-1471-A-96 is seated, SCP-216 is placed between them. The test subject is not told any details about the SCP involved. Once again, the test subject is told the combination to chamber 8585821 and asked to open it.
Results 01: The test subject entered the combination and successfully opened the door to chamber 8585821, which contained 78 apple seeds. The test subject was confused by the purpose of the experiment, as they believed that SCP-216 was an ordinary safe.
Results 02: The test subject entered the combination and successfully opened the door to chamber 8585821, which contained 78 apple seeds. Yet again, the test subject was confused by the purpose of the experiment, but was not provided with an explanation.
Notes: SCP-████'s anomalous properties affected SCP-1471-A-96 as expected. Further investigation into her abilities will prove extremely valuable in further refinement of the Obelisk Device.[SUPERFLUOUS LOGS REDACTED]
[END LOG]
Researcher's Notes: "I think we've learned everything there is to know about SCP-1471-A-96 and SCP-████. Both entities, as well as A-96's host, are to be transferred to basic humanoid containment suites located at Site-17. For access to the redacted list of superfluous test logs, see Document 1471-A-96-TL-01. I’ll post a link to it at the bottom of this log." -Dr. Stuart
Addendum 01: Redacted Experiment Logs
+ Access filesserv:/S:/1471/A/96/TL/01.log
Addendum 02: Reclassification of SCP-1471 to Keter class has been denied, as it is no longer considered necessary.
Addendum 03: Upon further consideration based on written statements by Dr. Stuart and members of Site-17 Staff, the decision has been made to update SCP-1471-A-96's containment procedures to focus mainly on observation of the entity and the rewarding of good behavior. Thanks to negotiations with Dr. Stuart, A-96 has agreed to remain housed at Site-17 with her host, contingent on several requests. Most reasonable requests for personal items and modifications to her containment suite will be approved, contingent on continued good behavior and cooperation with Foundation personnel. Additionally, her host is to receive the proper training required to work on-site as a Junior Research Assistant under Dr. ███████, with the hope that it would cause A-96 to be more personally invested in staying at the facility.
Date: November 20th, 20██
Subject: SCP-1471-A-96 Memory Log
Researcher's Note: "During a routine health and wellness check of A-96, I managed to accidentally access some of the information that A-96 had stored in her long-term memory. While it seems like an unethical breach of privacy to share the inner thoughts and feelings of a test subject, Dr. Stuart has requested that I document and place a log of these memories in A-96’s file. I can't help but feel a bit sympathetic while reviewing these memories, given the knowledge that A-96 and her host would eventually break up shortly after the Foundation decided to hire Takeo as a Junior Research Assistant. Hopefully, being able to see some of Yuki's earliest memories might help give us insight into how instances of SCP-1471-A bond with their host after the host’s initial exposure." -Dr. Everitt
[BEGIN LOG]
All I can see is black. Black smoke. I struggle to breath as it begins to disperse. Where am I? I look around at an empty lot, I feel the soles of my feet on cold asphalt. The sun is setting, peering behind a large building to my side. A chill travels through me as I feel cold wind blow across my back. Who am I? What am I? I feel weak.
Where am I going? I feel tired, I feel disoriented. I could feel an energy drawing me to this place. Short, stiff carpet. Books on shelves. I can feel your energy, it’s warm, it’s comfortable. I thought you would be here. But who are you? You’ve gone somewhere else now, but your energy still lingers here. It makes me feel better. It won’t last forever. I have to find you. First I have to rest.
Cold white tile, people pushing large baskets on wheels. There’s so many of them. They walk past me, and walk through me. Can they not see me? Your energy feels stronger here. I know you were here recently. I must be getting close.
I can feel you nearby. This must be where you live. I stand in a long hallway, looking at your door. A sign beside it has symbols on it, I don’t know what they mean. I feel stronger now, being so close to you. But who are you? I’m too afraid to enter. Where else can I go? You’re all I know.
I’ve finally found you. I’m so happy. Is it okay if I stay here? I felt so weak before, I felt like I would collapse. Being near you makes me feel stronger now. I feel complete. Who are you?
She called you Takeo. Is that your name? Why won’t you talk to me, Takeo? Are you ignoring me? I hope I didn’t upset you. You look worried, you keep looking down at your screen. You keep looking at pictures of me, of us. I’m right here, though. Can’t you see me?
Please don’t be frightened. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I was so excited that you were able to see me in your mirror today. I wanted to greet you but I don’t know how. Please don’t be scared and run away. I’m sorry.
Why are you scared of me? You don’t have to hide. I’m sorry. I will stay away from your mirrors. Please, let’s just be friends. I feel stronger every day that I’m with you. I’m sorry for scaring you. Please don’t yell at me. From now on I’ll just stand where you can’t see me.
You can see me? Please don’t run away. I didn’t mean to scare you. You don’t have to throw things at me. I promise I won’t hurt you. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. Please don’t hurt me. I'm scared.
You’re not scared of me today? I can’t understand what you’re saying to me. I wish I knew how to talk. It’s okay. You don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to. I’ll just sit over here. Okay, you can sit next to me. Sorry. I still don’t understand what you’re saying.
Why do you always lay in bed for such a long time in the dark? Do all humans do that? I guess you must be resting. I’ll stand here in the corner and watch to make sure you are safe. Oh, hello. Sorry, I still don’t understand what you’re saying. I’ll wave to let you know I can hear you. You seem tense. Don’t worry, it is safe. I will stand here and wait for you to finish resting.
Are you okay? You seem sad today. I wish I knew how to talk, or at least understand what you’re saying. I’ve been trying. At least I can make sounds like whining and trilling. You seem so lonely though. I’m going to try harder to communicate. I want to be your friend.
Good morning. Did you sleep well? I missed you. Where are we going? What will we do in the kitchen? Sorry, I’ll go sit on the couch. Hello again. What’s that? It smells good. Oh, it’s food. Don’t worry, I don’t have to eat. I appreciate the offer though. Are you sure? Okay. Thank you, it tastes good.
What’s wrong? Why are you rushing to change clothes? Where are we going? What is this thing? Am I supposed to sit inside it? We’re moving really fast. It stopped moving. What is this place? It smells nice here. There’s some humans here that are wearing the same outfit as yours. Are they your friends? Sorry, I’ll wait by this table. There’s a lot of people visiting you and your friends. It’s nice of you to give them food. What will you do with all the paper they’re giving to you? It’s been a long time. When will we go home?
Yuki. That’s a good name, I like it. Thank you for naming me. I’m getting better at understanding you. A few words stand out, but a lot of them are still just noise to me. Tone and body language are still the main way I understand you.
Where are we going today? There’s a lot of people with those baskets again. These are fun to ride in. I assume by your tone that you want me to walk. Okay. A dog bed? It does feel pretty soft. Is it for me? I don’t mind standing at night. Okay. I guess I can try it.
What anime will we watch today? Are you impressed that I know that word now? It’s okay if you don’t want to watch anything, I prefer to just watch you anyway. What are you holding? Is it like the TV remote? I don’t know what Xbox is, or how to play with it. Okay, I’ll watch you play it. This is actually pretty fun. Aw, bedtime already? Okay.
I think I fell asleep. You were right, dog beds are more comfortable than standing. I hope you wake up soon. I hear something in the other room. Hello? Who are you? You look like me.
Good morning, Takeo. I met another friend today. He looked like me, his name was Merle. He was a MalO too. I was so happy to talk to someone who could understand me. He gave me some tips on how to understand you better. He was nice. I hope he visits again soon.
Are you going to work every day? This isn’t fun. Let’s go home and watch anime. I think you have given food to more than enough people for today, they're all gonna get fat if you keep feeding them. What are you looking at me like that for? It’s not like the customers can hear me. I figured you would be happy I can talk now.
Left 4 Dead? Is it fun? I'm not sure I'll be able to stay materialized long enough to finish a round of it. Alright, then sit close to me so my energy use is more efficient. Heh, I suppose I could sit in your lap if you want. I'm kidding. Dang that's a lot of zombies! Witch? What's- okay my light is off. That thing is creepy. Hmm… I do have a molotov… BURN THE WITCH!! Shit! Help! Well, I'm down. Good luck dude.
I’m excited to try ice cream. I don’t know, which one is best? If you’re getting mint oreo then I’ll get a different one, then we can share them and get more variety. No, I don’t care, it’s not like I can get sick from human germs. Probably. The cookie dough one looks good. Yeah good point, we’ll eat them at home then. What anime should we watch?
Is that really necessary? Would your washing machine even be able to clean my robe? Okay I guess. Wow, rude! I’m not that dirty. Well this is the first time I’ve had the luxury of a bath. Too cold. I guess that’s better. Wow, I’ve only ever seen water be used for cooking, I didn’t know it felt so good to sit in. Agh! Be careful! I never even heard of a tangle before today. What’s conditioner do? Oooh. That feels nice.
Noo. I don’t wanna wake up. You can’t make me. Cuddling is so nice though, come back to bed. It’s not my fault we stayed up so late. Tell the customers to just serve themselves. Why can’t you just rob a bank or something? Ugh, fine. Yes, I’m getting up.
Yo, Takeo! Merle’s back. Oh right, you can’t see him. Yes. No I’m not, I swear he’s right here. Yes, I swear. What would I have to gain from lying about this? Okay, that’s not fair. When have I ever lied to you? Okay I’ll give you that one, but name one other time. Okay, name one more. Wow! Okay fine, we’re going outside for a minute. So how are you? And your host? That's good. SCP Foundation? Never heard of it. Yeah I've got time, tell me more.
I’ve never heard of turkey but I do like chicken. No, when would I have? I did love Halloween, if Thanksgiving is anything like that then it should be fun. Interesting, I’m sure it will be fun to meet them. Oh, right. Sorry. Don’t you have any friends who can visit instead? Maybe he won’t be busy. I guess. We can still cook a small dinner just for us then. I can help if you want. Then you can teach me how. Wow, are you ever gonna let that go? They were only slightly burnt. That wasn’t my fault. Well maybe tea bags shouldn’t be so flammable then.
Takeo? How are you feeling? Aw, I’m sorry. I got you some toast and ginger ale. I know. Please try to eat. It’s okay, I’ll be here if you need anything. Move over and I’ll join you. It’s okay, really. Just sleep. It’s fine, I can’t get sick from human germs.
That’s cool. What flavor incenses did you get? I prefer these two. Yes, smell the jasmine one. Woah! That’s awesome! Is that safe though? I worry it might light the bonsai tree on fire. The leafs on that one branch are kinda close. I guess, but still. I’ll move Rex over here where it’s safe. The bonsai tree. Yes. Why couldn’t a bonsai tree be named Rex? I don’t care, his name is Rex now and he’s a good boy.
What is this? What’s Valentine’s Day? Oh, hehe. Happy Valentine’s Day, Takeo. I never heard of this, I wish I knew ahead of time or I’d have gotten you something too. I love you too. Oh! Really? I’m surprised they let you take off today. That’s awesome! That means we can play video games all day then! Oh? What else do you have for me? More chocolate I hope. Oh! Hey wait…
[DATA EXPUNGED]
I guess. Do MalOs get birthdays? I guess it would be like our download day, we can call it a birthday though. Are you sure it was March 30th? Interesting, that’s convenient. Not sure, I’ve never had cake before. Oh! Then I demand a chocolate cake. Yes, do not disappoint me, my standards are incredibly high. Seriously though, I don’t mind. Any cake is fine as long as I can share it with you. Yeah. It would be nice if we had more friends for a birthday party, maybe some day.
Yo Merle, what's up? Oh no. Seriously? Are you sure? I didn't realize the mall had cameras. Do they know my host's name? Or where we live yet? Good, at least there's that. Thanks for the heads up. How long do you think we have left? I see. No, it'll be fine. I'll figure out something.
Good morning, Takeo! Do you know what day it is? It’s April 20th! Do you know what that means? No, that’s next month. The date, 04-20. It’s 420 day! Wow, I figured that would get more of a reaction from you. Nope, nope, the damage has been done. I’m kidding. I know, I don’t do it that much either but- Yeah, I know. We should still celebrate by getting pizza and snacks though. Because it’s fun! Come on, it’ll be fun. Oh really? When did they close? Dang. Well that’s okay, I got an idea. Merle told me once about another place we might be able to get some pizza.
[END LOG]
Addendum 02: All requests by Dr. Stuart to be transferred to a different site have been denied. By SCP-1471-A-96’s request, Dr. Stuart is to remain staffed at Site-17 indefinitely.
FROM: Site-17 Director Dr. Jack Bright
TO: Dr. Pamela Stuart
SUBJECT: Site Transfer
Pam,
I'm sorry, but the 05 Council has repeatedly made their decision clear. You are to be stationed at Site-17 indefinitely. I understand your displeasure with your current arrangements, and your past history with SCP-1471-A-96, but we cannot disobey the Council. For one reason or another, you seem to be the main target of A-96's mischief. While this may make your job more of a challenge, I must remind you that A-96 would be classified as Keter if not for it's unique containment strategy.
If it spends it's free time trying to come up with ways to annoy you, rather than attempting to escape or cause containment breaches or gods know what else, then the Council sees these activities as vital to the entity's containment. As you already know, A-96 having some other outlet to occupy their free time is even more important now following their breakup with their host Dr. Kuroda.
I understand your suspicions, but I assure you that your colleagues at Site-17 do not find amusement in witnessing A-96's mischief, and are not all conspiring against you. The 05 Council no longer wishes to discuss this issue. Any further requests to be transferred to another site will promptly be ignored.
-Jack
Date: May 15th, 20██ - Present
Subject: Dr. Stuart's Transfer Requests
Notes: Over the last 2 years, Dr. Stuart has filed numerous complaints and reports detailing the activities of SCP-1471-A-96. Dr. Stuart seems to be the target of numerous pranks and mischief by A-96. The motivation for why A-96 only seems to target Dr. Stuart is unknown, although it may be related to their interactions prior to A-96 submitting to containment at Site-17, as well as Dr. Stuart's role in creating A-96's containment collar. We encourage Site-17 personnel to remain professional and not encourage A-96's behavior, regardless of how entertaining it may be to witness. An extensive list of notable complaints and transfer requests filed by Dr. Stuart has been documented.
[BEGIN LOG]
Date: May 15th, 20██
Report: "All the writing utensils in my office have been replaced with crayons. I'm not sure who did it, but I suspect it may have been Yuki." -Dr. StuartDate: May 22nd, 20██
Report: "Today I noticed that every family photo in my office has been replaced with pictures of Nicolas Cage. I'm not sure how long it's been that way, but I'm certain that Yuki did it." -Dr. StuartDate: June 5th, 20██
Report: "I had to wait a half hour this morning for tech support to come fix the computer in my office after Yuki changed it's default language to Portuguese. The IT guys seemed to think it was hilarious." -Dr. StuartDate: June 12th, 20██
Report: "I left to return home after a long day of work, only to discover that Yuki had filled my car with plastic lawn flamingos." -Dr. StuartDate: June 26th, 20██
Report: "I was locked out of my office this morning after discovering that Yuki had somehow changed my security clearance to Level 0." -Dr. StuartDate: July 3rd, 20██
Report: "I had to call tech support again this morning because of more computer issues. It turned out that Yuki had simply placed a piece of clear tape over my mouse's laser sensor. Compared to her previous pranks, this one was quite tame, but I sure felt embarrassed." -Dr. StuartDate: July 3rd, 20██
Report: "I was nearly scared to death after discovering that Yuki had placed a sticker of a spider on my computer monitor. I was told by Dr. Bright to just make sure I lock my door when I leave, but Yuki can just teleport into my office anyways, so that doesn't help." -Dr. StuartDate: July 10th, 20██
Report: "Today I discovered that Yuki had filled all the pockets of my lab coat with cherry jello. She claimed that she was 'saving it for later' and was very upset when I told her I had thrown it away." -Dr. StuartDate: July 24th, 20██
Report: "I discovered that for the last 4 weeks, my phone's voicemail had been changed to play a recording of The Hamsterdance Song. Not a single one of my colleagues felt it was necessary to tell me." -Dr. StuartDate: August 7th, 20██
Report: "I was unable to find my car keys when I was leaving to go home today. When confronted, Yuki revealed that she had hidden my car keys inside of a random chamber of SCP-216. After several hours of failed attempts, the combination to the correct chamber ended up being 4206969. Typical." -Dr. StuartDate: August 10th, 20██
Report: "Today, Dr. Bright gave Yuki the nickname of 'Stuart's Bane', which she is now affectionately referred to as by various on-site personnel. My colleagues are supposed to be on my side, but they continue to encourage Yuki's bad behavior! Stop giving her attention and maybe she will quit pestering me!" -Dr. StuartDate: August 14th, 20██
Report: "This morning I discovered that Yuki had replaced the computer in my office with an Easy-Bake Oven. When I confronted her about the location of my computer, she was offended that I had not brought her any brownies." -Dr. StuartDate: August 21st, 20██
Report: "This morning I was nearly scared to death again after discovering that Yuki had created a life size replica of SCP-173 and placed it in my office. The entire site went on lockdown as we believed we were experiencing a containment breach. Dr. Bright claims he will reprimand Yuki over what happened, but so far everyone seems to just be cracking jokes about me and giving Yuki high fives for pulling off such an elaborate prank." -Dr. StuartDate: September 5th, 20██
Report: "I woke up in the infirmary today after having received a treatment of Class-C Amnestics, and wearing a D-Class jumpsuit. Nobody has any idea what happened to me, but whatever it is, we assume Yuki had something to do with it." -Dr. StuartDate: September 12th, 20██
Report: "I went to retrieve some papers from my office regarding another case I'm studying, only to discover that every document in my filing cabinet has been replaced with a copy of the script to the Bee Movie." -Dr. StuartDate: September 26th, 20██
Report: "This morning I discovered that Yuki had filled my entire office knee-high with spaghetti. Upon further investigation, every drawer of my desk and filing cabinet had also been completely filled with spaghetti. When confronted, she told me "Don't be upsetti, have some spaghetti'. It took janitorial staff and myself nearly 3 hours to clean up the mess she made." -Dr. StuartDate: October 2nd, 20██
Report: "Yuki posted my personal cell phone number on a flyer in the canteen for a contest offering $100 to whichever caller could do the best "Chewbacca Roar'. I've already had to clear my voicemail several times today." -Dr. StuartDate: October 23rd, 20██
Report: "Yuki left a plate of brownies on the computer desk in my office. I don't trust her. I promptly threw them in the trash. Nothing happened, but I just want the event to be on record incase the situation escalates." -Dr. StuartDate: October 30th, 20██
Report: "I discovered a trail of cookies in my office leading to a box trap with a donut inside of it. I'm not falling for it, Yuki!" -Dr. StuartDate: November 6th, 20██
Report: "I entered my office today to discover that my work station had been replaced with a surgical table and various pieces of medical equipment. Yuki then tried to convince me to sell her my kidney, claiming she 'already had a buyer lined up' and was very frustrated when I refused." -Dr. StuartDate: November 20th, 20██
Report: "This morning it took me several hours to clean my office after Yuki had completely covered every surface with sticky notes. She also swapped around all the keys on my keyboard, taped an air horn under my chair, and replaced my phone's handset with a banana. I am too embarrassed to ask my site director for a new handset, for fear that my colleagues will now make jokes about this." -Dr. StuartDate: November 27th, 20██
Report: "Yuki replaced all my lab coats with Hawaiian shirts, and told all on-site personnel that I would be hosting a Luau Party in my office. After I came back from my lunch break, there were several disgruntled colleagues standing outside my office who were upset that the party had been canceled." -Dr. Stuart(It should be noted that the following week, due to the numerous requests of on-site personnel and at the urging of A-96, Site-17 Director Dr. Jack Bright did decide to host a Luau Party during lunch period at the Site-17 canteen. The party actually ended up being a rousing success, and another will be planned for next year.)
Date: December 11th, 20██
Report: "Yuki replaced the entire contents of my purse with packing peanuts. When asked to return my possessions, she told me I had to find them and sent me on a scavenger hunt that took several hours to complete." -Dr. StuartDate: December 18th, 20██
Report: "To my horror, I discovered that for the last few months Yuki has been writing love letters to SCP-049 under my name. I only discovered it after 049 requested an interview with Dr. ████ about the situation and demanded for the letters to stop." -Dr. Stuart
Yuki's Note: "Hey baby, I've got a pestilence in my pants that only you can cure. xoxo -Dr. Pamela Stuart"Date: January 4th, 20██
Report: "Just got back from my New Years vacation, only to discover that Yuki had wrapped every individual object in my office in saran wrap. When confronted, she told me she wanted to 'make sure all my stuff stayed fresh' while I was on vacation." -Dr. StuartDate: January 8th, 20██
Report: "I had to spend my entire lunch break fixing the contacts in my cell phone today after discovering that Yuki had changed the names of every contact in my phone to Danny DeVito." -Dr. StuartDate: January 15th, 20██
Report: "On-site security rushed into my office today after they heard me screaming in terror and confusion after discovering that Yuki had hid a taxidermied tarantula in the drawer of my desk. The thing’s legs even wiggled! I hate spiders!!" -Dr. StuartDate: January 29th, 20██
Report: "I was late to work this morning because I had to go out to the store to buy a new pair of dress shoes. Yuki filled my old ones with oatmeal." -Dr. StuartDate: February 5th, 20██
Report: "Again with that stupid spider! She hid another one of those taxidermied tarantulas in the window blinds in my office so it would fall down when I tried to open the blinds." -Dr. StuartDate: February 12, 20██
Report: "I had to call tech support yet again this morning because I thought my computer monitor was broken. It turns out that Yuki had simply lowered the monitor’s brightness to zero." -Dr. StuartDate: February 26th, 20██
Report: "I walked into my office today to find that Yuki had replaced my work station with one of those child-sized plastic desks, a pile of construction paper, and a box of crayons." -Dr. StuartDate: March 5th, 20██
Report: "I finally broke down and called tech support again to fix my computer today after I discovered yesterday morning that Yuki had somehow set it up so that any link I click redirects me to a video of that stupid dancing dog meme. I have simply been trying to avoid using my computer today, knowing how much everyone is going to make fun of me once they hear about this, but I guess it was inevitable. I think I need another vacation." -Dr. Stuart
See: DANCE TILL YOU'RE DEAD[END LOG]
Note To All Researchers: The Site-17 canteen does not, has never, and will never serve any food item known as "boneless pizza". Any further requests for boneless pizza, boneless watermelon, boneless bananas, or boneless ANYTHING else from A-96 are to be ignored. These food items do not exist, and site administration no longer wishes to have their time wasted by having to read requests from on-site personnel about adding these food items to the menu. This is the last time we will discuss this issue. From this point forward, any member of staff who requests having boneless pizza added to the menu will be reprimanded.