Zenet

Name: Researcher Larua
Date: 12/4/2019
Total Items: 5 grey wool jackets covered in cat hair, 5 lint rollers

Greetings everyone, I'm Researcher Zenet Larua. I'm happy to finally have gotten permission to have access to this machine. From everything I've read, I'm quite excited to see what my experiments will yield. -Larua

Input: 1 jacket, 1 roller
Setting: Rough
Output: A jumble of wool, hair, and plastic all stuck together with adhesive

Input: 1 jacket, 1 roller
Setting: Coarse
Output: Two neat piles of hair and wool respectively. The handle of the lint roller was sitting in the center of the room with each individual sheet from the lint roller stuck to the walls of the output chamber.

Note: Only my second test ever with this machine and it's already making me work with taking down all those sheets. I sneezed at one point prior to that cleaning up the cat hair, but most of the hair conveniently stuck to the sheets on the walls. Getting mixed signals from that. -Researcher Larua

Input: 1 jacket, 1 brush
Setting: 1:1
Output: The lint roller was replaced with a cat brush packed with the cat hair from the jacket. The jacket design was now orange and black tiger stripes.

Note: Why is the jacket black and orange when the cat hair was brown? Wait, the hair on the brush isn't even brown but red.

Input: 1 jacket, 1 brush
Setting: Fine
Output: The jacket and brush seemed to have fused together with the interior of the jacket being some kind of adhesive. When chemically examined, the adhesive was determined to be some kind of body wax for hair removal. Upon D-Class testing with a subject possessing a large amount of chest and back hair, all hair on their torso was cleanly removed when the jacked was taken off with surprisingly no resistance. D-Class subject also reported no sensation of pain either with the hair removal, and the interior of the jacket itself was also devoid of the stripped hair. After just 10 minutes, said D-Class began complaining about irritation across their entire torso. Over the next 20 minutes, the D-Class was observed with an inflamed, beet-red torso that rapidly grew what appeared to be some form of cat fur before the inflammation settled. Two more D-Class were subjected to the test with not one bearing fur of the same species or design. The jacket was later disposed of via incineration.

Input: 1 jacket, 1 brush
Setting: Very Fine
Output: A normal looking wool(?) cap. When given to a D-Class and placed on their head, they suddenly began to convulse before dropping to the floor and expiring with blood pooling around their body. Autopsy reports revealed that the subject's body hair had inverted and was growing on the inside of their skin. It is also noted that the growth was so forceful and enhanced that their hair wound its way into their flesh and organs, and even began growing into their bones. The hat was placed into storage for later testing on non-biological items.

Note: I'm getting sick just reading this report…I'm glad I didn't actually do the autopsy. -Researcher Larua