Special Containment Procedures:
SCP-XXXX is to be kept in a Comfort-Grade Humanoid Containment Cell. It should be brought any items it requests for hobby purposes. All items, especially relating to art and technology, must be reviewed by Dr. Marsden before they may furnish SCP-XXXX's cell. All items directly relating to pure philosophy are forbidden until express permission is given by Dr. Marsden. SCP-XXXX should be visited at least twice a day unless requested otherwise.
Description:
SCP-XXXX is Apollo Vili, a generally unremarkable Caucasian Male. When thinking about the Philosophy of Life and the reason for one's existence, SCP-XXXX has been observed to cause one of two phenomena:
- Nihilification: Caused when SCP-XXXX spirals into nihilistic thoughts. During Nihilification, SCP-XXXX slowly dematerializes, presumably until completely absent from reality. While effects are generally restricted to SCP-XXXX, effects reported by nearby researchers include:
- Perceived chilling of temperatures
- Loss of colour vision
- Disassociation and rapid emotional depression
- Dampened senses
- Weakening cognitive ability
- Vitalization: Caused when SCP-XXXX feels a reason to exist. Vitalization has an inverse effect to Nihilification, by richening reality rather than dampening it. Effects caused by this phenomenon are not restricted to SCP-XXXX, and ripple outward through reality at a velocity exponential and proportionate its thoughts. During Vitalization, reported effects include:
- Richer sense experience
- Feeling of Unity with the world
- Euphoria
SCP-XXXX is aware of its condition and understanding of its need to be contained. Despite full compliance with foundation staff, the full extent of SCP-XXXX's condition has yet to be assessed. While the subject does not appear to be a threat to baseline reality, mishandling could prove disastrous. Further study is required.
Addendum XXXX-01: Discovery
SCP-XXXX indirectly contacted the foundation via the ██████████████ association's general health hotline, seeking help for its condition. The call record is as follows:
<Begin Log>
Operator: Hi! Thanks for calling ██████████████'s general health hotline. It's currently outside regular operating hours, so our operators are unavailable to take your call right now. If you were looking for 24 hour service, consider calling our mental health hotline. If you're having a medical emergency, call your local emergency number immediately. Leave a message after the beep, and we'll reach out as soon as we can (A pause, then a beep).
SCP-XXXX: Okay, uh…
SCP-XXXX: (A pause, followed by a deep breath)
SCP-XXXX: Hi. My name is Apollo Vili, so that's A-P-O-L-L-O, and then V-I-L-I… uh… I'm calling because I think there's something wrong with me. Or, at least not… normal? I don't really know for sure. I have this thing I've noticed, where if I get sad, I start to fade. I know it sounds ridiculous but it's true. I can look through my hands and see the floor, and in the mirror, I can see the wall behind me. It's like I become half transparent.
SCP-XXXX: (Pause) I know it sounds stupid, but I swear it. I'll have a bad day, I come home, and I just sit there, wondering why I'm still here. Alive, I mean. I sit, and if I sit long enough, I'll eventually start thinking about what I want to do with my life and the fact that I don't know. That's when it happens.
SCP-XXXX: And it's not depression! It's not. At least not only that. I'll admit my mental health record isn't great, but depression alone shouldn't make you see through your own hands. I'm not crazy. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't consume any substances, I… This has happened a few times, and I always fade back in once I realize what's happening and focus on my hands.
SCP-XXXX: (Long pause)
SCP-XXXX: Maybe I am crazy. Look, I called because I know what happens to the people who don't call. If any of this means anything, please, call me back from the same number. I need to get this figured out eventually.
SCP-XXXX: I should… I should probably go to sleep. Thanks.
<End Log>
SCP-XXXX was detained and placed in foundation custody shortly after this call took place. The call record was promptly removed from the ██████████████ association's systems.
Addendum XXXX-02: Onboarding Interview
<Begin Log>
Interviewer: Dr. Marsden
Interviewee: SCP-XXXX
Preface: Dr. Marsden enters the room and is immediately questioned by SCP-XXXX about his detention. They converse for a couple minutes, after which SCP-XXXX is calm.
Dr. Marsden: So. Let's get down to business then… You said that when you get sad, you can see through your hands?
SCP-XXXX: Not just the hands, I can see through my whole body. It's like I've turned into a ghost. And it's not when I get sad, at least not specifically.
Dr. Marsden: Not specifically?
SCP-XXXX: I can be sad without it happening. Like, let's say I'm trying to find a job, and I'm sad that I can't. That sadness doesn't cause it. But if I sit for long enough thinking about it, eventually I might start thinking about what job I want to get, and then what I would actually enjoy doing, and then how I can't figure that out, and then I start thinking about it in general, and then… that's usually when.
Dr. Marsden: Sorry, "it in general"? What do you mean?
SCP-XXXX: Thinking about what I want from life in general. When I spend a while thinking about it, the ghost thing happens.
Dr. Marsden: What *do* you want from life?
SCP-XXXX: I don't know, something.
Dr. Marsden: (Pause) Do you… have any hobbies?
SCP-XXXX: I mean, I've tried stuff before. I read books and played soccer when I was younger.
Dr. Marsden: Not anymore?
SCP-XXXX: Not really. I just work, mostly.
Dr. Marsden: And what do you do now?
SCP-XXXX: I'm an accountant. I was always good at mathematics, and I liked it well enough.
Dr. Marsden: What did you like about it?
SCP-XXXX: It made sense. Every problem could be solved as long as you had the right process. It's just logic.
Dr. Marsden: Hm.
Dr. Marsden: (Long pause) Apollo. Do you know who you're named after?
SCP-XXXX: (Snorts) Who, the Greek god?
Dr. Marsden: The god, yes. Apollo was the Greek god of song, dance, and poetry, among other things. Have you ever tried any of those?
SCP-XXXX: Nope.
Dr. Marsden: So you've never read poetry? You've never gone to a dance? You've never listened to music, made music—
SCP-XXXX: Well, I listen to the radio on my way to work-
Dr. Marsden: Have you watched a movie? Have you drawn? Painted? Hiked? Travelled the world? Gone snorkeling?
SCP-XXXX: Um-
Dr. Marsden: What about sailing? Have you felt the embrace of the hot sun you while the wind carries you? Have you built a snowman on a cold winter's day with your family, your friends, or with yourself?
SCP-XXXX: I-
Dr. Marsden: Have you never heard the performance of an orchestra whose music reverberates through your bones, sates your mind, and fills your soul? Have you never been a part of the crowd and felt the glorious victory or crushing defeat of your local sports team, or felt the quiet anticipation of your favourite band's new album, or even something as simple as the taste of a cold glass of water on a hot day? Have you never-
SCP-XXXX: NO!
SCP-XXXX: (A long pause) No. No, I haven't. I have no idea what you're talking about. How is this related to my condition?
Dr. Marsden: (Smiling) I think I understand your problem now.
<End Log>
SCP-XXXX is not the first anomaly of its kind. The foundation has suspected their existence before, but they are difficult to find and even harder to contain. SCP-XXXX's testimony is strikingly similar to that of the former SCP-████, and I believe the foundation finally has a chance at understanding both.
Due to their nature, it is unclear how many other instances of SCP-XXXX have existed. They simply disappear without a trace. If Nihilism truly is the scourge of humankind, who knows how much of history has vanished by its hands?
—Dr. Marsden
Annendum XXXX-03: Exploration
Observational Log XXXX.OL.1 SUMMARY
Subject: SCP-XXXX
Preface: Dr. Marsden inducted SCP-XXXX into a two hour painting session. Despite initial opposition, SCP-XXXX begrudgingly complied.
Observational notes: Dr. Marsden spent the first ten minutes teaching SCP-XXXX how to use a paintbrush and canvas. Dr. Marsden painted a mountain range at sunrise. After some time spent "thinking", the subject announced its piece would be "the sweetest thing he's never tasted", later revealed to be a glass of water in the sun.
While the subject stated his indifference to the act of painting after the session, it was observed focusing intently during the last twenty minutes of the session.
Observational Log XXXX.OL.2 SUMMARY
Subject: SCP-XXXX
Preface: Dr. Marsden inducted SCP-XXXX into a two hour sculpting session SCP-XXXX agreed on the condition Dr. Marsden would not take part. Despite initial opposition, Dr. Marsden begrudgingly complied.
Observational notes: A sculpting instructor was brought in to replace Dr. Marsden, and explained the basics of sculpting to the subject in less than three minutes. Subject quickly decided he would create a Phoenix. The subject spent fifteen minutes moulding the basic shape, then asked the instructor for advice adding detail. Subject was handed a toothpick and used it to carve feathers onto the wings, continuing even after the two hour mark had passed.
The subject admitted it enjoyed the act of sculpting more than painting. The instructor did not create their own sculpture.
Observational Log XXXX.OL.3 SUMMARY
Subject: SCP-XXXX
Preface: Dr. Marsden placed a record player in SCP-XXXX's cell, accompanied with eight records of various musical genres.
Observational notes: Over the following three hours, the subject played all eight records. Reactions to each genre were:
- Pop "through the ages": Lower preference. Subject skipped through the record and did not express particular interest in any time period.
- Heavy Metal: Considerable distaste. The record was played for 14 seconds, and was not played again. Subject mumbled "How does anyone listen to this?"
- Rap: Situational preference. The subject engaged in a twenty minute workout routine while the record played, but removed the record once finished.
- Jazz: Neutral. The subject played the record for seven minutes, then absentmindedly sketched a mountain range at sunset at its desk while listening for twenty five minutes. After appearing to become bored, the sketch was abandoned and the record was removed.
- Classic Rock: Slight preference. The full record was played, and the subject was observed head-bobbing occasionally.
- Country/Folk: Moderate distaste. The record was played for fifteen minutes until being removed. Subject lamented that "every song is the same" in the process.
- Classical: Considerable preference. The full record was played. Subject listened intently for the first six minutes, then reorganized its cell for thirty minutes. Afterwards, the subject laid on its bed and continued listening with its eyes closed.
- Electronic: Slight preference: Subject skipped through the record, but paid meticulous attention to each song. Two songs were played in full.
When asked about the record collection, the subject noted its preference for instrumentally focused music and requested more records of the sort.